I feel like someone should be calling gotcha on DW's latest article. C'mon guys: It's the king of ranters ranting about people who rant. Get it?
I received an email today from a Helena Kling of The Educational Centre for Games in Israel (or possibly The Heritage Centre for Games and Toys in Israel). They are based in Tel Aviv. It is some organization that has been promoting games and toys in Israel for 25 years. Strange that I haven't heard of it.
One of the reasons must be that the focus has been on "games and toys" and the implicit understanding of the foundation that assumes interest only from children and grandparents. The only games they know appear to be typical games from Kodkod (the only large Israeli games producer, makers of Rummikub) and classic pre-1970 games. Also, Helena only speaks English, which must be a problem. I speak Hebrew poorly and it is a barrier for me in reaching out to Hebrew speakers.
They appear to be underfunded, so I can't say I blame them too much. In any case, I know that Gilad, who is trying to start a Board Gaming organization in Israel (Hebrew speaking), is looking for a place to play in Tel Aviv, and Helena sounded enthusiastic about hosting his group, so maybe the connection will work out.
In other news, I bought a used copy of Queries and Theories from someone on the Jerusalem mailing list. It is an old game about logic and natural language. Some of you computer geeks may remember that languages are formed by sentences (such as A, PQ, and ABG) and rules (such as P -> BA). In the preceding example, we know that BAQ is a legal sentence in the language because it can be formed by some combination of the sentences and the rules.
You are supposed to guess the language; that's all I know so far. The game consists of a bunch of colored chips, a mat, and a 50 page rulebook in itsy print. I suspect that this rulebook could probably be rewritten as 8 colored glossy pages with pictures, but I wouldn't complain about the rules with DW around to scold me. Hee hee.
I think my son Saarya might enjoy playing it, as he is learning logic and computers in his ninth grade science high school class, and he likes games.
I also got the first three books of Pratchett's Diskworld series in pristine condition. The person selling me the game was getting rid of them, so I bought them, too. If you want them, make me an offer.
Yehuda
Monday, February 20, 2006
50 steps to a healthy gaming life
Inspired by this post by Better Me, I decided to make a checklist for healthy board gaming ...
By a "healthy gaming life", I don't mean just "a healthy life", or a "gaming life", but a synergy of both. Therefore, a certain amount of obsession is implied. A life full of gaming that is also still healthy. If this is not your intent, then the list doesn't apply to you. See the comments for more details.
Your stuff:
Score yourself again in two months and every six months.
Happy Gaming,
Yehuda
By a "healthy gaming life", I don't mean just "a healthy life", or a "gaming life", but a synergy of both. Therefore, a certain amount of obsession is implied. A life full of gaming that is also still healthy. If this is not your intent, then the list doesn't apply to you. See the comments for more details.
Your stuff:
- I am aware of all of the games that I own.
- I have played all of the games that I own.
- I don't own any games that I have no realistic plan on playing in the future. I don't own any games just for nostalgia. All of my games are fun to play, right now.
- I own or have easy access to all of the games that I like to play.
- My games are kept in a safe and dry location, in an organized manner.
- All of my games have all of their pieces. None of the cards or pieces are marked or broken.
- All of the components to my games are in their right location, and are not mixed with other games or under the couch.
- All items in my games work properly, such as spinners or towers.
- All of the boxes to my games are intact and sturdy.
- All of my games contain rules in my native language or a language I can read easily.
- I do not play with games if the parts were acquired by means of copyright violations.
- I put away one game before taking out another, unless many people are over and playing simultaneously, or unless I have a designated area to store a long game such as a monster war-game.
- My game collection is not obtrusive, and does not interfere with the functions of the house or the room in which they are stored.
- I have a well-lit, uncluttered, and healthy place to play games. This place has access to fresh air, natural light, and a bathroom with a sink.
- I have enough chairs for all players, and these chairs are comfortable.
- I don't overindulge in caffeine or sugar.
- I exercise a few times every week and I don't watch much television.
- Games do not take up more than 1/3 of my waking hours, unless I am involved with them professionally.
- I read or write general articles about tech, math, or game strategy, as well as about games that I play.
- I can effectively teach all games that I play.
- I make a reasonable effort to win games while I'm playing them. If I'm playing with children or sensitive people, I still try to win, but I give advise to help them as well.
- I really don't mind losing, since I find the game enjoyable for the experience.
- I am a good winner, because I don't think that any of my opponent's are inherently incapable of doing whatever I did to win; it just clicked. I make other people feel good about specific plays that they did after the game, or I point out how the loss wasn't really under their control due to some random event, when appropriate. And I mean it.
- I never cheat, and if I gain inadvertent information, I either don't use it or I disclose the fact to my opponents.
- I never play with an agenda in mind. I don't try to humiliate my opponents. I don't carry grudges. I play for the shared enjoyable experience with my opponents, aware that both/all of us have to work together to achieve it.
- I don't whine or use other means of coercion during game play.
- I do not argue about rules during the game. I assume a ruling is unfavorable to my position before asking a question about rules.
- I assume that actions are not permitted unless otherwise specified.
- I do not favor an opponent when I can't win. I have a kingmaking code to which I follow in this situation (pick one or more:play for placing; play for max points; play for min point differential with leader; play for sub-goal; try a wild strategy that has at least some possibility of success; passively try not to affect the outcome and wait for the next game).
- I play reasonably quickly, think only as long as acceptable given the spirit of the game, and do not hurry others to make their moves.
- I maintain a record of my games and seek to improve my play in these games.
- I am open to playing both games that I have already played and new games.
- I share my love for boardgaming with other people.
- I play with my spouse or significant other.
- I play with my children or parents.
- At least some of my friends play games with me.
- I do not use games as an excuse to cause distance between me and anyone else.
- I do not play or suggest playing games when it will cause a fight of any sort.
- I belong to and regularly attend a weekly game group.
- I contribute to the game group more than just my attendance, such as organization, snacks, games, recording sessions, and/or cleaning up.
- I ensure that all players feel welcome where I play, and I don't only talk to my close friends.
- I give minimal strategy advice to new players, and otherwise only when asked. I never give misleading advice.
- I politely decline to play games in which I am not interested.
- I politely request to play games in which I am interested, unless I already know that other players don't want to play them.
- I do not quit games in which I am losing, except for two player games where I politely offer to resign, but will continue if I think my opponent doesn't want me to.
- I do not request takebacks that annoy other people. I let others take back their moves whenever possible so as to ensure they continue to enjoy the game.
- I maintain a clean and healthy body and ensure that other players are not offended by my personal grooming or manners.
- I am equally respectful to all people at a club, regardless of sex, race, age, or physical disability.
- I prefer not to play than to get into an argument.
- I do not gossip about other players or ridicule moves made by other people, even when they are not present.
Score yourself again in two months and every six months.
Happy Gaming,
Yehuda
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Anti-climactic Game Endings
This is what happens when you track too many blogs. Someone started a discussion about board games that peter out with anti-climactic endings, but I can't remember who. I search back a week in bloglines to no avail.
Anyhoo, I just wanted to add a confirmation of this phenomenon. Lately, even some excellent games seem to end with a dawning slow realization that the game is over slightly before it should be.
Examples:
Power Grid. It comes down to some positioning that happens a few rounds before the last. Even if you don't realize this until the last round, once the person with the most plant capacity has built an equivalent amount of cities, everyone else just tosses their cards in without finishing the round. Bleah.
Maharaja. Similar situation. Someone pulls ahead in palaces and then the last three rounds are useless attempts to catch up, since the leader probably has enough money already to drop the last palaces, and it is really difficult to stop this. Again, cards are figuratively tossed in at the beginning of the last round, rather than finishing out the round.
Taj Mahal. Another major offender in runaway leader, if the lead is far enough.
In extreme cases of Settlers of Catan this can also happen, but generally speaking with enough lucky dice and a trade embargo it always remains possible to catch up. In Puerto Rico, you may know that you've lost, but the two leading players almost never know who has won.
So what is wrong here? What is the pattern?
In Power Grid, it's that there is no hidden scoring. In Maharaja, not only is there no hidden scoring, the victory condition is just too easy to fulfill once you are leading. In Taj, it's that there are not enough points to earn each round, even with the hand points (a poor attempt to add hidden points to the game, in my opinion).
There's no pattern. It's just a slight negative feature of otherwise great games. You would think that they could have gone back to the drawing board and added something to fix this, but either it didn't matter enough to them to fix, or they didn't consider it a problem.
Whatever it is, now that it has been pointed out, it bothers me. Don't you hate when that happens?
Yehuda
Anyhoo, I just wanted to add a confirmation of this phenomenon. Lately, even some excellent games seem to end with a dawning slow realization that the game is over slightly before it should be.
Examples:
Power Grid. It comes down to some positioning that happens a few rounds before the last. Even if you don't realize this until the last round, once the person with the most plant capacity has built an equivalent amount of cities, everyone else just tosses their cards in without finishing the round. Bleah.
Maharaja. Similar situation. Someone pulls ahead in palaces and then the last three rounds are useless attempts to catch up, since the leader probably has enough money already to drop the last palaces, and it is really difficult to stop this. Again, cards are figuratively tossed in at the beginning of the last round, rather than finishing out the round.
Taj Mahal. Another major offender in runaway leader, if the lead is far enough.
In extreme cases of Settlers of Catan this can also happen, but generally speaking with enough lucky dice and a trade embargo it always remains possible to catch up. In Puerto Rico, you may know that you've lost, but the two leading players almost never know who has won.
So what is wrong here? What is the pattern?
In Power Grid, it's that there is no hidden scoring. In Maharaja, not only is there no hidden scoring, the victory condition is just too easy to fulfill once you are leading. In Taj, it's that there are not enough points to earn each round, even with the hand points (a poor attempt to add hidden points to the game, in my opinion).
There's no pattern. It's just a slight negative feature of otherwise great games. You would think that they could have gone back to the drawing board and added something to fix this, but either it didn't matter enough to them to fix, or they didn't consider it a problem.
Whatever it is, now that it has been pointed out, it bothers me. Don't you hate when that happens?
Yehuda
More on Linkposts
I tend to avoid a lot of the "best" blogs because they are filled with a whole lot of posts that are just links to other blogs (I call these "Linkpost" blogs). It's information overload and most of the information is highly time-wasting and irrelevant.
With their emphasis on traffic and the "wow-factor", it can feel a whole lot like hype. "This is cool! And so is this!" over and over. Like staring at an infomercial for too long, until you begin to realize that there's nothing behind the smoke and mirrors.
Occasionally something cool does pop up. Unfortunately, what each person considers "cool" is so widely varied that any attempt to consolidate it is doomed to failure.
Linkpost sites are no more than collections of what one person, or a few people, think is cool on other sites. I don't consider all the stuff in Boing Boing or Engadget cool; just a fraction of it, about the same amount I consider cool when I read the original sites themselves. What you need is a list of what is REALLY cool in all of these cool linkpost sites.
I'm sure you realize where this is heading. I make a list of what I think is cool from all of these sites. So do a hundred other people. Nobody agrees exactly with what one particular person finds cool, so after reading all of the summaries someone condenses all of the summaries, and so on.
All you can really do is flock around people whose ideas of cool match yours to a slightly higher percentage than what is typical.
Aside from game sites, one linkpost site that hits cool for me is Techdirt. I don't always agree with their assessments, but the topics are about what I want to see covered.
Another one that I discovered recently that is just inside my radar is lifehacker. It slips in and out, actually. Sometimes I'm just about to stop following it because it is wasting my time, and then it comes up with a few good articles. Two of the latest ones it linked to are Conversational Terrorism, an article about the unethical language we use to "win" conversations, and Are you ready to clean up your life?, one version of a checklist containing important steps to create a healthy lifestyle. I am considering adapting the latter article to create one for the gaming community.
I am far more enthusiastic about sites that actually have content. It's like listening to an original album by an artist, rather than to the greatest hits of the seventies.
With their emphasis on traffic and the "wow-factor", it can feel a whole lot like hype. "This is cool! And so is this!" over and over. Like staring at an infomercial for too long, until you begin to realize that there's nothing behind the smoke and mirrors.
Occasionally something cool does pop up. Unfortunately, what each person considers "cool" is so widely varied that any attempt to consolidate it is doomed to failure.
Linkpost sites are no more than collections of what one person, or a few people, think is cool on other sites. I don't consider all the stuff in Boing Boing or Engadget cool; just a fraction of it, about the same amount I consider cool when I read the original sites themselves. What you need is a list of what is REALLY cool in all of these cool linkpost sites.
I'm sure you realize where this is heading. I make a list of what I think is cool from all of these sites. So do a hundred other people. Nobody agrees exactly with what one particular person finds cool, so after reading all of the summaries someone condenses all of the summaries, and so on.
All you can really do is flock around people whose ideas of cool match yours to a slightly higher percentage than what is typical.
Aside from game sites, one linkpost site that hits cool for me is Techdirt. I don't always agree with their assessments, but the topics are about what I want to see covered.
Another one that I discovered recently that is just inside my radar is lifehacker. It slips in and out, actually. Sometimes I'm just about to stop following it because it is wasting my time, and then it comes up with a few good articles. Two of the latest ones it linked to are Conversational Terrorism, an article about the unethical language we use to "win" conversations, and Are you ready to clean up your life?, one version of a checklist containing important steps to create a healthy lifestyle. I am considering adapting the latter article to create one for the gaming community.
I am far more enthusiastic about sites that actually have content. It's like listening to an original album by an artist, rather than to the greatest hits of the seventies.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Weekend Gaming
For lunch we had a woman and two of her three children. I don't know why so many people we have over are divorced women with children; something about our social circle.
This one was a very old friend of my wife's. She was married to a gamer who once left me a large bag of Magic cards when we stayed at their apt in New York. Apparently he is also in Israel for the year. I invited him for Wed night games but haven't yet heard back from him.
Where was I?
So she came with her two kids, ages 10 and 13. After lunch, while she and Rachel discussed Pseudopigrapha and such stuff, I played Settlers with the kids. They took to it pretty well.
Settlers is one of those games that is just complicated enough that it is hard to teach all of the rules in one go before people's eyes begin to glaze over. Leave out the development cards or the robber and you could do it. Also, the setup phase also tends to confuse people. With some people you have to start playing a bit and then tell them about the cards.
I am extremely well versed in teaching Settlers, so I generally do teach it all at once, anyway. These kids were very bright and didn't have a problem. Their previous game experiences included Risk as well as most other board games.
Of course, the dice were screwy, but they got into it anyway. The ten year old boy won (with a little assistance of showing him how to build settlements) which was great. Both of them liked the game.
I decided to go read some Dragon magazine issues for ideas for the upcoming game, so I left them playing Yinsh. They seemed to get it, but when I came out to check on them I found out that they had disagreed over which ring they had to remove and had prematurely ended the game. A little while later they were playing Settlers with their mother.
She wanted to know if I take a commission in selling the game.
Yehuda
This one was a very old friend of my wife's. She was married to a gamer who once left me a large bag of Magic cards when we stayed at their apt in New York. Apparently he is also in Israel for the year. I invited him for Wed night games but haven't yet heard back from him.
Where was I?
So she came with her two kids, ages 10 and 13. After lunch, while she and Rachel discussed Pseudopigrapha and such stuff, I played Settlers with the kids. They took to it pretty well.
Settlers is one of those games that is just complicated enough that it is hard to teach all of the rules in one go before people's eyes begin to glaze over. Leave out the development cards or the robber and you could do it. Also, the setup phase also tends to confuse people. With some people you have to start playing a bit and then tell them about the cards.
I am extremely well versed in teaching Settlers, so I generally do teach it all at once, anyway. These kids were very bright and didn't have a problem. Their previous game experiences included Risk as well as most other board games.
Of course, the dice were screwy, but they got into it anyway. The ten year old boy won (with a little assistance of showing him how to build settlements) which was great. Both of them liked the game.
I decided to go read some Dragon magazine issues for ideas for the upcoming game, so I left them playing Yinsh. They seemed to get it, but when I came out to check on them I found out that they had disagreed over which ring they had to remove and had prematurely ended the game. A little while later they were playing Settlers with their mother.
She wanted to know if I take a commission in selling the game.
Yehuda
Thursday, February 16, 2006
A Bump in the Road
I would just like to give a shout out to the guy or gal who came up with the idea of having visitors to a website pay to not see ads. The idea is based on the following premise:
What a brilliant concept. I expect this idea to have a long lifespan.
Yehuda
Technorati tags: Advertising
The people who have money, or are willing to spend money, do not see advertisements. The people who don't have money, or are not willing to spend money, see advertisements.
What a brilliant concept. I expect this idea to have a long lifespan.
Yehuda
Technorati tags: Advertising
Meanwhile, Out in the Field
Captain Martin squinted through the dusty binocular lenses, trying to ascertain the enemy's activities. Four weeks of hard traveling and he was ready to engage his enemy. Martin was a military man through and through. He didn't serve because it paid well, because it was honorable, or because he had nothing better to do.
Martin's grizzled gray hair dripped water beneath his battered gray helmet. He lowered the binoculars, and reflected. He knew why he served. He served because he loved the taste of combat. This was his element.
Around him his men were setting up, building fortifications, and scouting around for the resources needed to prepare for the coming conflict. He surveyed the proceedings with a grim eye.
"Sergeant Trent, front and center!" he bellowed.
Sergeant Trent appeared before the Captain and gave a crisp salute.
"Yes, sir!" yelled Trent.
Martin commanded, "The enemy is trying to dig something up. I want you to take a crack squad of four men and blow up their position."
"No, sir!" replied sergeant Trent.
"What the ... Sergeant, that was an order! What the Hell is wrong with you?"
"Sir, sorry, sir! We are not allowed to engage in direct confrontation with the enemy, sir!"
"Not allowed .. What? What the Hell are you talking about, Sergeant? Not allowed to confront the enemy? That's ridiculous!"
"Yes, sir! No direct confrontations, sir!"
"Well, what the Hell are we supposed to do, wave at them?" asked the Captain.
"Sir, we are digging our own water supplies, as is the enemy! If we work hard, we can dig more water supplies faster than the enemy. If we have more water, we win."
The Captain stared at his sergeant as if he was seeing his left foot for the first time. "What!? What do we need more water for? We've already got enough! And how is having more water than our enemy going to win this war!?"
"Sir, not just more water!" Trent replied. "Let's see," he looked up and began ticking off on his fingers, "We need more water, more dirt, and more wood, and then we trade the dirt and wood to get bricks! Or we can use the wood to get paper which we can use to write to HQ for another shovel. That will let us dig even more water. See?" he beamed happily.
"What!" barked the Captain. "What are you talking about? We have to kill the enemy, not drink water!"
"Well, sir," answered Trent, somewhat embarrassed, "you know that the better supplied army is going to win, isn't it? That's why we need to get more supplies than they do!" And he smiled.
"Trent, I don't give a goddamn hoot nor holler about water, shovels, or dirt! Just take some men and go blow up that ... what the Hell is this!?"
An enemy soldier walked past Martin and Trent with a shovel and began digging in the ground. The rest of his men were laughing and joking and carrying on with their work.
"What the Hell is going on here?!" He fumbled for his gun. Trent lay a hand down on his arm. The Captain went wide eyed, struggled for a moment, and then gave up, staring at the sergeant.
"Uh, uh, Captain, sir. No direct confrontation, remember? He's just digging here for water, like the rest of us."
"What the Hell is he doing here? What's he doing in our position? How did he get into our position?"
"Well, Captain, I learned that it is best not to think of any particular position as 'ours' or 'theirs', you know? What's important is that you are constantly looking around for the best position at any given moment."
The Captain was looking rather green. "How did he get in here? What's happening with our fortifications?"
He looked around and saw his fortifications halfway built. There was another enemy soldier standing on top of one of the walls building it up. Right next to him was one of his soldiers, just standing around doing nothing.
"What the Hell are you doing?" he yelled up at his soldier. "What's that guy doing here?"
"We built up a few pieces of the wall, and then this other guy climbed up and began building some more on top of what we built," yelled his soldier from on top of the wall.
Trent added, "Don't think of it as 'our' wall sir, like I told you before."
"Well why is our man just doing nothing?" the Captain asked in bewilderment.
Trent answered, "He needs to get to the other side of the enemy guy, but he can't pass him."
"Can't pass him?! The damn wall is five feet wide! Just go around!"
"Sorry, sir. Our man just has to wait for the other guy to move. He's not allowed to go around. Hmmm. He might be able to come down on this side of the wall, walk around to the other side, and then climb back up. That will probably take a few days, however."
Meanwhile, a contingent of enemy soldiers had walked up to his canteen. After some exchange, the soldiers handed the guy in the canteen a cordon of wood and in return received a barrel of water.
"What's going on? Why are we giving them water, sergeant? You told me we needed to have more water than them to win the war!"
"Oh, we have enough water. We have a good water supply. We're trading water with them for wood."
"But we're helping the enemy! You don't trade with the enemy!"
"Well," answered the sergeant slowly, "we are helping them, true, but we do need the wood, and both of us are gaining over that third enemy over on the other hill."
The Captain's grizzled face began to turned purple. He jumped up and down and began screaming "Sergeant!!! What the Hell is going on here!? I came here to fight a damn war, and I'm going to fight a damn war!!!"
Trent traced a circle in the ground with his foot. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop shouting at me. That could be considered confrontational, you know."
Huffing and puffing the Captain slowly regained his composure. He hung his head in defeat, staring at the ground with a small tear slowly running down his face. He wore the look of a beaten man.
"Sergeant," he choked. "Sergeant, I give up. I'm going to go back to my tent to turn on my computer and play war games. It seems to be the only way I'm going to be able to experience any combat around here."
"Sir, I'm afraid you can't do that, sir."
"I can't?" asked the Captain, wearily.
"No, sir."
"Well, what can I do?"
The Sergeant took out something front his breast pocket and fanned it out in front of the Captain.
"Pick a card."
Martin's grizzled gray hair dripped water beneath his battered gray helmet. He lowered the binoculars, and reflected. He knew why he served. He served because he loved the taste of combat. This was his element.
Around him his men were setting up, building fortifications, and scouting around for the resources needed to prepare for the coming conflict. He surveyed the proceedings with a grim eye.
"Sergeant Trent, front and center!" he bellowed.
Sergeant Trent appeared before the Captain and gave a crisp salute.
"Yes, sir!" yelled Trent.
Martin commanded, "The enemy is trying to dig something up. I want you to take a crack squad of four men and blow up their position."
"No, sir!" replied sergeant Trent.
"What the ... Sergeant, that was an order! What the Hell is wrong with you?"
"Sir, sorry, sir! We are not allowed to engage in direct confrontation with the enemy, sir!"
"Not allowed .. What? What the Hell are you talking about, Sergeant? Not allowed to confront the enemy? That's ridiculous!"
"Yes, sir! No direct confrontations, sir!"
"Well, what the Hell are we supposed to do, wave at them?" asked the Captain.
"Sir, we are digging our own water supplies, as is the enemy! If we work hard, we can dig more water supplies faster than the enemy. If we have more water, we win."
The Captain stared at his sergeant as if he was seeing his left foot for the first time. "What!? What do we need more water for? We've already got enough! And how is having more water than our enemy going to win this war!?"
"Sir, not just more water!" Trent replied. "Let's see," he looked up and began ticking off on his fingers, "We need more water, more dirt, and more wood, and then we trade the dirt and wood to get bricks! Or we can use the wood to get paper which we can use to write to HQ for another shovel. That will let us dig even more water. See?" he beamed happily.
"What!" barked the Captain. "What are you talking about? We have to kill the enemy, not drink water!"
"Well, sir," answered Trent, somewhat embarrassed, "you know that the better supplied army is going to win, isn't it? That's why we need to get more supplies than they do!" And he smiled.
"Trent, I don't give a goddamn hoot nor holler about water, shovels, or dirt! Just take some men and go blow up that ... what the Hell is this!?"
An enemy soldier walked past Martin and Trent with a shovel and began digging in the ground. The rest of his men were laughing and joking and carrying on with their work.
"What the Hell is going on here?!" He fumbled for his gun. Trent lay a hand down on his arm. The Captain went wide eyed, struggled for a moment, and then gave up, staring at the sergeant.
"Uh, uh, Captain, sir. No direct confrontation, remember? He's just digging here for water, like the rest of us."
"What the Hell is he doing here? What's he doing in our position? How did he get into our position?"
"Well, Captain, I learned that it is best not to think of any particular position as 'ours' or 'theirs', you know? What's important is that you are constantly looking around for the best position at any given moment."
The Captain was looking rather green. "How did he get in here? What's happening with our fortifications?"
He looked around and saw his fortifications halfway built. There was another enemy soldier standing on top of one of the walls building it up. Right next to him was one of his soldiers, just standing around doing nothing.
"What the Hell are you doing?" he yelled up at his soldier. "What's that guy doing here?"
"We built up a few pieces of the wall, and then this other guy climbed up and began building some more on top of what we built," yelled his soldier from on top of the wall.
Trent added, "Don't think of it as 'our' wall sir, like I told you before."
"Well why is our man just doing nothing?" the Captain asked in bewilderment.
Trent answered, "He needs to get to the other side of the enemy guy, but he can't pass him."
"Can't pass him?! The damn wall is five feet wide! Just go around!"
"Sorry, sir. Our man just has to wait for the other guy to move. He's not allowed to go around. Hmmm. He might be able to come down on this side of the wall, walk around to the other side, and then climb back up. That will probably take a few days, however."
Meanwhile, a contingent of enemy soldiers had walked up to his canteen. After some exchange, the soldiers handed the guy in the canteen a cordon of wood and in return received a barrel of water.
"What's going on? Why are we giving them water, sergeant? You told me we needed to have more water than them to win the war!"
"Oh, we have enough water. We have a good water supply. We're trading water with them for wood."
"But we're helping the enemy! You don't trade with the enemy!"
"Well," answered the sergeant slowly, "we are helping them, true, but we do need the wood, and both of us are gaining over that third enemy over on the other hill."
The Captain's grizzled face began to turned purple. He jumped up and down and began screaming "Sergeant!!! What the Hell is going on here!? I came here to fight a damn war, and I'm going to fight a damn war!!!"
Trent traced a circle in the ground with his foot. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop shouting at me. That could be considered confrontational, you know."
Huffing and puffing the Captain slowly regained his composure. He hung his head in defeat, staring at the ground with a small tear slowly running down his face. He wore the look of a beaten man.
"Sergeant," he choked. "Sergeant, I give up. I'm going to go back to my tent to turn on my computer and play war games. It seems to be the only way I'm going to be able to experience any combat around here."
"Sir, I'm afraid you can't do that, sir."
"I can't?" asked the Captain, wearily.
"No, sir."
"Well, what can I do?"
The Sergeant took out something front his breast pocket and fanned it out in front of the Captain.
"Pick a card."
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