My guests were not the gaming type, but that doesn't mean I couldn't sneak in a little.
First of all, I wanted to try playing Tichu with Tal, only to discover that it is from 3 to 10 players (and other than the 6 player variant of the standard game, the other versions look awful). One would think that you could play two player Tichu similar to the way you play Honeymoon Bridge.
So we played 24/7. One thing about the game: There's little setup, it's easy to teach, and it plays quickly.
We later tried to play El Caballero. It is a game that I've never been able to finish before because something always comes up. Another player arrives, or so on. This time I realized why. It's really not any better than Carcassone. In fact, Carcassonne is better. And the later versions of Carcassonne are probably even better yet. Oh well. Anyone want to trade Carcassonne the City for El Caballero?
It's also a member of the "the box is 2.5 times bigger than it ought to be" club.
Another of my Menorah game has been claimed. I'm pleased. I'm just hoping someone can convince someone to finally invest in making a proper version. I promise all people who purchase the mock-up version a discount on the real thing, if it ever sees print.
Links:
A blog called More Than a Living uses the idea of changing and creating variants for board games as an important skill for applying to the rest of our lives in Same Board, Different Game. One reason why electronic games are not going to be as good as physical analog games, at least until they become infinitely malleable.
CIVIO is a rummy game whose cards reflect issues of civil rights, supreme court decisions, and related concepts.
Sandy Antunes in his weekly column on RPG.net talks about how parents need to teach games and not just throw them at their kids, and also gives a rummy variant for Apples to Apples.
Yehuda
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
Quick Post
Awaiting a secret santa post, and waiting to see if mine was received.
Around half of my games are now sent and/or sold; get one before they're gone! I'll probably be playing with my Aunt and Uncle who we've invited for shabbat.
And Tal is here, too.
A few games I ordered are sitting on top of my game shelf, but I'm not opening them until Hanukkah, which is ... ulp ... next week already.
Shabbat Shalom,
Yehuda
Around half of my games are now sent and/or sold; get one before they're gone! I'll probably be playing with my Aunt and Uncle who we've invited for shabbat.
And Tal is here, too.
A few games I ordered are sitting on top of my game shelf, but I'm not opening them until Hanukkah, which is ... ulp ... next week already.
Shabbat Shalom,
Yehuda
Thursday, December 07, 2006
How Good is Good Advice?
Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price -- Allan Sherman.
An Anecdote
Before I made aliyah (moved to Israel) I had some friends who had made yeridah (moved away from Israel, back to the U.S.) While lovely in many ways, this nice young couple warned us that one of the difficulties that they found in Israel was finding work and a sustainable income. It so impacted their lives, and the lives of their social circle, they said, that people didn't invite each other over as guests because they simply couldn't afford to.
That was their experience. And of course, it made us nervous. Were we walking into potential social isolation?
As it turns out, our experience couldn't be further from that. Yes, I've had periods of difficult economic times in Israel; I may still have more. But even during those periods, we experienced no loss in invitations to be guests, or inability to have guests. We can create extraordinarily good, yet still inexpensive, meals, even for shabbat.
Questions
Did we get good advice? Or bad advice?
Is advice good or bad based on the likelihood of its possibility? Its objectivity? Or can it only be judged in hindsight?
Scott Adams
Scott Adams claims to have ignored all advice he is given his whole life and everything seems to have turned out ok. "Claims", I would say, because I'm sure he was also told not to cross in the middle of the street, play Russian Roulette, or eat raw chicken; he probably follows those pieces of advice.
So when he claims to have ignored so much advice, is this a self-selective reflection? I.e. does he only remember those pieces of advice that he ignored and that turned out well, while conveniently forgetting all the advice he takes that turns out well? How often does he ignore advice and it turns out poorly?
Children
What should I tell my 16 year-old who wants to quit school and form a band? "Don't do it" just because the odds are against you? "Do it, or you'll regret not having tried it"? And if he does or doesn't succeed, does that change post-facto the quality of my advice?
Maybe he knows something that I don't about his music. Or maybe I know that he's not really serious enough about the hardships he will face.
I can give advice. But should I? Maybe good advice is telling him the odds and letting him decide, without any exhortations one way or the other. Or maybe I don't know the odds, because I don't know all the factors that affect his decision; I only know the factors that would affect my own decision, or that guided me when I was younger.
Experience in Games
When I teach games, I like to teach only the rules and the very bare basics of strategy that I feel playing without which would be unsporting. If you don't explain the basics about valuing money versus victory points in Puerto Rico, you're going to win twenty straight games before the player figures it out. Maybe it's more fun for them to figure it out for themselves. But in the meantime, you have shortcutted twenty essentially uninteresting games for you, and possibly saved your opponent from giving up on the game in disgust.
On the other hand, more advice than basics is generally bad, for a number of reasons. One is that advice assumes a lot about your experiences, when you might have been overlooking something all along. For instance, telling someone that he should do This because That always happens. That might always happen because no one simply thought to do something so that That wouldn't happen. If everyone follows the group-think, the game can stultify.
Second, there really is something to be said about learning something for yourself. It's like being told the answer to a math problem without seeing how the process went, and therefore not learning why it makes sense, and how to do it yourself. And how to apply that information to the next problem.
Furthermore, making the decisions is really the heart of playing games. If you're simply following communal decisions during a game, you're not really playing a game; you're playing a puzzle. And one person is simply moving pieces on behalf of another.
The Kick
Sometimes, going against conventional wisdom is not simply an act of a rebellious attitude or curiosity. Sometimes it is what you need to get a kick. You can't get your adrenaline flowing until you're trodding the uncertain path. How much risk you want to take - whether you want to burn the bridge behind you - is up to you. It depends on what you need. The only truism is that you're going to have to be ready to roll up your sleeves, instead of letting yourself get carried along the stream.
Advice
If you're getting advice, advice should be taken seriously, but it always needs to come with a tag: from a perspective. If a hundred people give you the same advice, you can safely assume that they cover a lot of perspectives, and that some of them will match yours. But you can still evaluate and decide if there is an overlooked perspective.
If you're giving advice, you should know why you're giving it, and from what perspective it is given. Probably, advice should be less exhortation and more information.
Yehuda
An Anecdote
Before I made aliyah (moved to Israel) I had some friends who had made yeridah (moved away from Israel, back to the U.S.) While lovely in many ways, this nice young couple warned us that one of the difficulties that they found in Israel was finding work and a sustainable income. It so impacted their lives, and the lives of their social circle, they said, that people didn't invite each other over as guests because they simply couldn't afford to.
That was their experience. And of course, it made us nervous. Were we walking into potential social isolation?
As it turns out, our experience couldn't be further from that. Yes, I've had periods of difficult economic times in Israel; I may still have more. But even during those periods, we experienced no loss in invitations to be guests, or inability to have guests. We can create extraordinarily good, yet still inexpensive, meals, even for shabbat.
Questions
Did we get good advice? Or bad advice?
Is advice good or bad based on the likelihood of its possibility? Its objectivity? Or can it only be judged in hindsight?
Scott Adams
Scott Adams claims to have ignored all advice he is given his whole life and everything seems to have turned out ok. "Claims", I would say, because I'm sure he was also told not to cross in the middle of the street, play Russian Roulette, or eat raw chicken; he probably follows those pieces of advice.
So when he claims to have ignored so much advice, is this a self-selective reflection? I.e. does he only remember those pieces of advice that he ignored and that turned out well, while conveniently forgetting all the advice he takes that turns out well? How often does he ignore advice and it turns out poorly?
Children
What should I tell my 16 year-old who wants to quit school and form a band? "Don't do it" just because the odds are against you? "Do it, or you'll regret not having tried it"? And if he does or doesn't succeed, does that change post-facto the quality of my advice?
Maybe he knows something that I don't about his music. Or maybe I know that he's not really serious enough about the hardships he will face.
I can give advice. But should I? Maybe good advice is telling him the odds and letting him decide, without any exhortations one way or the other. Or maybe I don't know the odds, because I don't know all the factors that affect his decision; I only know the factors that would affect my own decision, or that guided me when I was younger.
Experience in Games
When I teach games, I like to teach only the rules and the very bare basics of strategy that I feel playing without which would be unsporting. If you don't explain the basics about valuing money versus victory points in Puerto Rico, you're going to win twenty straight games before the player figures it out. Maybe it's more fun for them to figure it out for themselves. But in the meantime, you have shortcutted twenty essentially uninteresting games for you, and possibly saved your opponent from giving up on the game in disgust.
On the other hand, more advice than basics is generally bad, for a number of reasons. One is that advice assumes a lot about your experiences, when you might have been overlooking something all along. For instance, telling someone that he should do This because That always happens. That might always happen because no one simply thought to do something so that That wouldn't happen. If everyone follows the group-think, the game can stultify.
Second, there really is something to be said about learning something for yourself. It's like being told the answer to a math problem without seeing how the process went, and therefore not learning why it makes sense, and how to do it yourself. And how to apply that information to the next problem.
Furthermore, making the decisions is really the heart of playing games. If you're simply following communal decisions during a game, you're not really playing a game; you're playing a puzzle. And one person is simply moving pieces on behalf of another.
The Kick
Sometimes, going against conventional wisdom is not simply an act of a rebellious attitude or curiosity. Sometimes it is what you need to get a kick. You can't get your adrenaline flowing until you're trodding the uncertain path. How much risk you want to take - whether you want to burn the bridge behind you - is up to you. It depends on what you need. The only truism is that you're going to have to be ready to roll up your sleeves, instead of letting yourself get carried along the stream.
Advice
If you're getting advice, advice should be taken seriously, but it always needs to come with a tag: from a perspective. If a hundred people give you the same advice, you can safely assume that they cover a lot of perspectives, and that some of them will match yours. But you can still evaluate and decide if there is an overlooked perspective.
If you're giving advice, you should know why you're giving it, and from what perspective it is given. Probably, advice should be less exhortation and more information.
Yehuda
Session Report, in which two Geeks of the Week meet and compete
The latest session report for the Jerusalem Strategy Gaming Club is up here. Games played: 24/7, Carcassonne, Keythedral, Elfenland, For Sale, Tichu x 2, Quo Vadis, Magic: the Gathering.
Gilad, the current Geek of the Week on BGG stopped by for a visit, but I didn't actually get to play with him.
And we pushed our roleplaying off for another week.
Links:
When I was in Cornell they never had a Game Design Initiative degree program. Damn. Via The Ithaca Journal.
And Boing Boing reports on the virtual homeless in online gaming worlds, as a reminder of homelessness in the real world.
Eat It!, a trivia game that tests and impresses children about candy advertisements. Because the hole's not deep enough yet.
"Yes, finally a board game based on snack food. And why not? There are board games based on strategy, knowledge of other specific topics like sports or music or all trivia ... it's about time someone leveraged snacks into a game for grownups (let's face it, you can't play CandyLand all your life). " - www.candyblog.net
And somewhere in Chicago, someone is running the first Hungry, Hungry Hippos Spelling Championship.
Yehuda
Gilad, the current Geek of the Week on BGG stopped by for a visit, but I didn't actually get to play with him.
And we pushed our roleplaying off for another week.
Links:
When I was in Cornell they never had a Game Design Initiative degree program. Damn. Via The Ithaca Journal.
And Boing Boing reports on the virtual homeless in online gaming worlds, as a reminder of homelessness in the real world.
Eat It!, a trivia game that tests and impresses children about candy advertisements. Because the hole's not deep enough yet.
"Yes, finally a board game based on snack food. And why not? There are board games based on strategy, knowledge of other specific topics like sports or music or all trivia ... it's about time someone leveraged snacks into a game for grownups (let's face it, you can't play CandyLand all your life). " - www.candyblog.net
And somewhere in Chicago, someone is running the first Hungry, Hungry Hippos Spelling Championship.
Yehuda
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
As Long As We're Linking 16
Some board game blogs that have crossed my notice since the last update.
Bode Gueims - A UK blog, in English and Portuguese.
Fun and Boardgames - Reviews - Eric Martin, the new editor of Board Game News, has been reviewing games on a nice blog site.
Funagain Games - The Dice Tower - The new location and feed for The Dice Tower.
Head Games Podcast - A new board game podcast.
liga3m - Andrea "Liga" Ligabue, Italy, also a Board Game News correspondent.
Rule 0 - Rob Herman, from ??? . Board gaming.
Blogs I lost track of ...:
game slips
Half Turkey
Yehuda
Links:
Some guy named Moritz had created some cool video game LED tables.
Fair Play Games has had so many orders this holiday season that they are refusing orders for a few days to catch up. Go board games. (via SABG)
Researchers are now planning on hooking up idle Playstations to assist in medical research (like SETI@Home does). (Thanks, Max)
Yehuda
Bode Gueims - A UK blog, in English and Portuguese.
Fun and Boardgames - Reviews - Eric Martin, the new editor of Board Game News, has been reviewing games on a nice blog site.
Funagain Games - The Dice Tower - The new location and feed for The Dice Tower.
Head Games Podcast - A new board game podcast.
liga3m - Andrea "Liga" Ligabue, Italy, also a Board Game News correspondent.
Rule 0 - Rob Herman, from ??? . Board gaming.
Blogs I lost track of ...:
game slips
Half Turkey
Yehuda
Links:
Some guy named Moritz had created some cool video game LED tables.
Fair Play Games has had so many orders this holiday season that they are refusing orders for a few days to catch up. Go board games. (via SABG)
Researchers are now planning on hooking up idle Playstations to assist in medical research (like SETI@Home does). (Thanks, Max)
Yehuda
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
November Gaming at the JSGC
The following list, as usual, includes only gaming at the Jerusalem Strategy Gaming Club, and doesn't include games I played outside of the club.
AD&D 2nd ed. - We're starting roleplaying again. Last time we had a party of ten, which was too many, and I was DM'ing, and it was too much for me. Ilan is now taking over a more workable party of five.
Caylus x 2 - Four players is too many. Two is right. Either way, the game is too long, too mechanical, and too fiddly. Unless you're obsessed with that sort of thing.
Children of Fire RPG - This is what the other part of five is going to play. Roleplaying angels, few dice, lots of theme.
Cities and Knights of Catan - Still a pleasant diversion, if a little baroque.
Colossal Arena - IMHO, the game needs more and broader scoring opportunities. Otherwise, best with four or five players, not two.
Cosmic Encounter x 4 - A classic game, played with EON or Mayfair versions. Best with 4 or 5.
For Sale x 9 - Quick and easy play for just about anyone. It's too light for me, but I'll play.
Go x 4 - A perfect two-player game for anyone.
Hive x 11 - A good two-player game, at least until it gets analyzed to death.
Intrigue - A game of treachery and backstabbing. Not for me.
King's Gate - I didn't play it.
Kotsuku x 5 - A very quick two or three player game hat plays ok with some modification to the included rules (see my session report).
Letter Hold'Em x 2 - A deck of playing cards with letters on it. The intention of which is to change your games of Texas Hold'Em, so that any cards you use also need to form a word. If you like Texas Hold'Em and word games, you'll probably enjoy it. Otherwise, the deck could probably be used for other things, too.
Lord of the Rings: the Confrontation x 5 - A good two-player filler. What Stratego could have been.
Magic: the Gathering x 2 - A classic CCG, always fun to draft.
The Menorah Game x 10 - A nice half hour auction/set-collection game, good for two to four, best with three. Themed for Hanukkah.
Nautilus x 2 - A beautiful game, and fun to play, but doesn't inspire accolades.
Puerto Rico x 2 - The Game. Five players with slow people is a bit much, however.
San Marco - A fairly average enjoyable Eurogame. Area control. A nice pie-division mechanic.
Secret Sevens - Some sort of card game played with a standard deck of cards.
Settlers of Catan - A great intro game, and a nice lighter game, with trading and development.
Taj Mahal - A great game of managing resources.
Trendsetters - Unfathomable party game for four. Didn't make any sense to us.
Winner's Circle - A very light game of luck with some take-that tactics for three to five.
Zendo - A nice game of induction for two to many players.
Zero In - A nice light party game with an American slant and a limited life-span. My daughter likes it.
Yehuda
AD&D 2nd ed. - We're starting roleplaying again. Last time we had a party of ten, which was too many, and I was DM'ing, and it was too much for me. Ilan is now taking over a more workable party of five.
Caylus x 2 - Four players is too many. Two is right. Either way, the game is too long, too mechanical, and too fiddly. Unless you're obsessed with that sort of thing.
Children of Fire RPG - This is what the other part of five is going to play. Roleplaying angels, few dice, lots of theme.
Cities and Knights of Catan - Still a pleasant diversion, if a little baroque.
Colossal Arena - IMHO, the game needs more and broader scoring opportunities. Otherwise, best with four or five players, not two.
Cosmic Encounter x 4 - A classic game, played with EON or Mayfair versions. Best with 4 or 5.
For Sale x 9 - Quick and easy play for just about anyone. It's too light for me, but I'll play.
Go x 4 - A perfect two-player game for anyone.
Hive x 11 - A good two-player game, at least until it gets analyzed to death.
Intrigue - A game of treachery and backstabbing. Not for me.
King's Gate - I didn't play it.
Kotsuku x 5 - A very quick two or three player game hat plays ok with some modification to the included rules (see my session report).
Letter Hold'Em x 2 - A deck of playing cards with letters on it. The intention of which is to change your games of Texas Hold'Em, so that any cards you use also need to form a word. If you like Texas Hold'Em and word games, you'll probably enjoy it. Otherwise, the deck could probably be used for other things, too.
Lord of the Rings: the Confrontation x 5 - A good two-player filler. What Stratego could have been.
Magic: the Gathering x 2 - A classic CCG, always fun to draft.
The Menorah Game x 10 - A nice half hour auction/set-collection game, good for two to four, best with three. Themed for Hanukkah.
Nautilus x 2 - A beautiful game, and fun to play, but doesn't inspire accolades.
Puerto Rico x 2 - The Game. Five players with slow people is a bit much, however.
San Marco - A fairly average enjoyable Eurogame. Area control. A nice pie-division mechanic.
Secret Sevens - Some sort of card game played with a standard deck of cards.
Settlers of Catan - A great intro game, and a nice lighter game, with trading and development.
Taj Mahal - A great game of managing resources.
Trendsetters - Unfathomable party game for four. Didn't make any sense to us.
Winner's Circle - A very light game of luck with some take-that tactics for three to five.
Zendo - A nice game of induction for two to many players.
Zero In - A nice light party game with an American slant and a limited life-span. My daughter likes it.
Yehuda
U. S. Armed Forces Code, in Verse: Chapters 75-77, 79-81, 83, 87, 88
Chapter 75
1471
In cases of death
Evidence is collected
So that any foul play
Can be rejected
1475
Gratuity upon death
Is paid, though it's hard
To understand why not
For the Coast Guard
1476
Even after separated
Within a time frame
If you die, a gratuity
Is paid, just the same
1477
With today's modern
Family relations
Determining beneficiaries
Is full-time occupation
1478
The gratuity for death
Is twelve-thousand K
Where they came up with
This, they don't say
1479
Who is authorized
To send that there check
I'm sure the survivors
Don't give a heck
1480
If killed by the state,
Discharged dishonorably,
Or not following orders,
Pity the beneficiary
1481
Someone looks after
The body, usually,
Although I thought sometimes
They're buried at sea
1482
The mil then covers
Expenses, incidental
Depending on all of
The rules, departmental
1482a
Civilian employees
Might also be covered
But less than for members
I have discovered
1483
They also pay for
Prisoners of war
Who die while in custody,
'Cause what are friends for?
1484
Others who die
On military grounds
Might also be buried
If someone's around
1485
They also might pay
To cover expenses
For dependents of soldiers
Now in past tenses
1486
In places remote
For situations few
They might help you bury
And charge for it, too
1487
Land may be bought using
Methods extemporary
In order to inter on
Bases temporary
1488
Remains may sometimes
Be moved from graves
If the current cemetery
Cannot be saved
1489
Relatives of spies
Killed while on duty
Get a year's pay
As a gratuity
1490
Some pretty dumb rules
About measuring distance
When transporting bodies
Are here by insistence
1491
Funeral honors
Are described herein
Applying to any
True veteran
Chapter 76
1501
A department for missing
Person's was founded -
It's kind of ironic
How that sounded
1502
If someone involun-
Tarily goes missing
A commander will assess and
Then maybe do something
1503
He'll notify the Sec
Who springs into action
Forming a committee to
His satisfaction
1504
On behalf of the missing
Things are done, gratis
They'll call your name, loudly,
And then change your status
1505
They'll even look under
The desks and the chairs
And write a report on
The state of affairs
1506
The report may be missing
Some classified info
So long as it's noted
That somebody said so
1507
At some point, you might
Get listed as dead
If someone else wants
Your desk or your bed
1508
It may be appealed
By your next-of-kin
Who think you're hiding
In the kitchen
1509
The cases are closed
For missing from Korea,
The Cold War, and also
From Indochina
1510
Do they always pick on
The Coast Guard like this?
The main office won't deal
With Coast Guard cases
1511
If you're then found alive
O frabjous day!
They might still back-pay you
Callooh! Callay!
1512
But the State might not care -
"You're still dead", they'll say,
If your rescue interferes
With politics they play
1513
Only after finishing
Reading these sections
Do they then include
The reading directions
Chapter 77
1521
After you're dead, you
Still get promoted
Which doesn't surprise me
Look who's gotten voted
1522
You can even get Warranted
This section claims ...
You know? What a warrant is
Is still not explained
1523
If promoted while dead
You don't get a raise
And it's too late to ask
What the job pays
1524
Another short section
It simply describes
What date to use for
When you have died
Chapter 79
1551
Two types of people
Use assumed names
One out of modesty
One out of shame
1552
They corrects records
That are found flawed
And fix inconveniences
If they are caused
1553
Discharge or dismissal
Records are kept
And for fifteen years
Are dusted and swept
1554
Also for separation
Due to disability
Is examined on requests
Made with civility
1555
The staff of review
Consists of at least
A doc and a lawyer
Who are not deceased
1556
Reviews are made public
To those who request
Except when conflicting
With national interest
1557
They try to respond
Within a good time
But if they are late
It isn't a crime
Chapter 80
1561
Complaints about sexual
Harassment are serious
And examined to see if
The actions were grievous
1561a
Civilians are also
Protected by this one
So no hanky panky
Unless both think it's fun
1562
They also check into
Domestic violence
Assuming the families are
Under their providence
1563
Members of congress
Can make a request
To promote posthumously
At someone's behest
1564
Security clearance
Is granted, and hastily
For critical research
Like better puff pastry
1564a
Anyone with access to
Secret info's subject
To a lie detector,
Although they're not perfect
1565
A soldier convicted
For egregious crime
Has his DNA sample
Kept for all time
1565a
These DNA samples
Are made available
For investigations
When legal and warrantable
1566
This section adds rules
Meant for promoting
Knowledge and assistance
To make sure you're voting
Chapter 81
The next three dull chapters
I'm also ignoring
This one on civilian
Employees is boring
Chapter 83
This chapter describes
Intelligence jobs
These guys get code names
Like "Screwball" and "Hobbes"
Chapter 87
This chapter describes
Work in acquisitions
And responsibilities that
Come with these positions
Chapter 88
1781
Policy planners - they
Need at least five of these -
Get to plan policy
For military families
1782
They put out some surveys
And may get some answers
On how well they're doing
As programmers, not dancers
1783
Nothing to see here
Something bureaucratic
My eyes just glossed over
These, automatic
1784
They try to provide
Jobs for the spouses
Close to the place
Their actual house is
1785
They also run youth programs
Right on the bases
So that every child
Can meet friendly faces
1786
Funds made available
For overseas travel
Are also for road trips
On concrete or gravel
1787
Any abusing
Of children's reported
And any instance
Of neglect is recorded
1788
For members on contingency
Operations (which is?)
Their kids get additional
Assistances
1789
This section supports
Faith based activities
In order to "build and
Maintain strong families"
1791
I don't know what a
Child care receipt is
But the DoD's supply
Determines expenses
1792
Employees assigned to
Take care of kids
Must learn not to lock them
In boxes with lids
1793
Parents pay money
To send their kids there
So they can go shopping
And color their hair ...
Just kidding, they go fall
Asleep in their chair
1794
A hot-line is published
For child abuse
If you abuse children
You've got a screw loose
1795
Parents are invited
To air their concerns
Like what kind of swear words
Their child now learns
1796
Aside from on-base care
They also can give
Other assistance
For where you might live
1797
Programs developed
For early childhood
Must be accredited
Which is understood
1798
Rather than create them
They can also assist
Youth programs that may
Already exist
1799
Regular children
Not from mil families
Can also attend
To strengthen communities
1800
As usual, definitions
Which should have come earlier
Are only done now
Which just made me surlier
As you can see,
From chapters I skipped
At this point most of
My interest had slipped
If you want to give me
Some motivation
To finish the rest
I'll take compensation
A dollar a section
Seems about fair
My email's on Paypal
If you will look there
Otherwise, I will be
Moving along
Starting to work on
My next legal song
I hope you enjoyed
My posting in verse
It could have been better
And could have been worse
Please do check out
Other posts on my blog
Happy holidays to each of
You, and to your dog
<- Previous
1471
In cases of death
Evidence is collected
So that any foul play
Can be rejected
1475
Gratuity upon death
Is paid, though it's hard
To understand why not
For the Coast Guard
1476
Even after separated
Within a time frame
If you die, a gratuity
Is paid, just the same
1477
With today's modern
Family relations
Determining beneficiaries
Is full-time occupation
1478
The gratuity for death
Is twelve-thousand K
Where they came up with
This, they don't say
1479
Who is authorized
To send that there check
I'm sure the survivors
Don't give a heck
1480
If killed by the state,
Discharged dishonorably,
Or not following orders,
Pity the beneficiary
1481
Someone looks after
The body, usually,
Although I thought sometimes
They're buried at sea
1482
The mil then covers
Expenses, incidental
Depending on all of
The rules, departmental
1482a
Civilian employees
Might also be covered
But less than for members
I have discovered
1483
They also pay for
Prisoners of war
Who die while in custody,
'Cause what are friends for?
1484
Others who die
On military grounds
Might also be buried
If someone's around
1485
They also might pay
To cover expenses
For dependents of soldiers
Now in past tenses
1486
In places remote
For situations few
They might help you bury
And charge for it, too
1487
Land may be bought using
Methods extemporary
In order to inter on
Bases temporary
1488
Remains may sometimes
Be moved from graves
If the current cemetery
Cannot be saved
1489
Relatives of spies
Killed while on duty
Get a year's pay
As a gratuity
1490
Some pretty dumb rules
About measuring distance
When transporting bodies
Are here by insistence
1491
Funeral honors
Are described herein
Applying to any
True veteran
Chapter 76
1501
A department for missing
Person's was founded -
It's kind of ironic
How that sounded
1502
If someone involun-
Tarily goes missing
A commander will assess and
Then maybe do something
1503
He'll notify the Sec
Who springs into action
Forming a committee to
His satisfaction
1504
On behalf of the missing
Things are done, gratis
They'll call your name, loudly,
And then change your status
1505
They'll even look under
The desks and the chairs
And write a report on
The state of affairs
1506
The report may be missing
Some classified info
So long as it's noted
That somebody said so
1507
At some point, you might
Get listed as dead
If someone else wants
Your desk or your bed
1508
It may be appealed
By your next-of-kin
Who think you're hiding
In the kitchen
1509
The cases are closed
For missing from Korea,
The Cold War, and also
From Indochina
1510
Do they always pick on
The Coast Guard like this?
The main office won't deal
With Coast Guard cases
1511
If you're then found alive
O frabjous day!
They might still back-pay you
Callooh! Callay!
1512
But the State might not care -
"You're still dead", they'll say,
If your rescue interferes
With politics they play
1513
Only after finishing
Reading these sections
Do they then include
The reading directions
Chapter 77
1521
After you're dead, you
Still get promoted
Which doesn't surprise me
Look who's gotten voted
1522
You can even get Warranted
This section claims ...
You know? What a warrant is
Is still not explained
1523
If promoted while dead
You don't get a raise
And it's too late to ask
What the job pays
1524
Another short section
It simply describes
What date to use for
When you have died
Chapter 79
1551
Two types of people
Use assumed names
One out of modesty
One out of shame
1552
They corrects records
That are found flawed
And fix inconveniences
If they are caused
1553
Discharge or dismissal
Records are kept
And for fifteen years
Are dusted and swept
1554
Also for separation
Due to disability
Is examined on requests
Made with civility
1555
The staff of review
Consists of at least
A doc and a lawyer
Who are not deceased
1556
Reviews are made public
To those who request
Except when conflicting
With national interest
1557
They try to respond
Within a good time
But if they are late
It isn't a crime
Chapter 80
1561
Complaints about sexual
Harassment are serious
And examined to see if
The actions were grievous
1561a
Civilians are also
Protected by this one
So no hanky panky
Unless both think it's fun
1562
They also check into
Domestic violence
Assuming the families are
Under their providence
1563
Members of congress
Can make a request
To promote posthumously
At someone's behest
1564
Security clearance
Is granted, and hastily
For critical research
Like better puff pastry
1564a
Anyone with access to
Secret info's subject
To a lie detector,
Although they're not perfect
1565
A soldier convicted
For egregious crime
Has his DNA sample
Kept for all time
1565a
These DNA samples
Are made available
For investigations
When legal and warrantable
1566
This section adds rules
Meant for promoting
Knowledge and assistance
To make sure you're voting
Chapter 81
The next three dull chapters
I'm also ignoring
This one on civilian
Employees is boring
Chapter 83
This chapter describes
Intelligence jobs
These guys get code names
Like "Screwball" and "Hobbes"
Chapter 87
This chapter describes
Work in acquisitions
And responsibilities that
Come with these positions
Chapter 88
1781
Policy planners - they
Need at least five of these -
Get to plan policy
For military families
1782
They put out some surveys
And may get some answers
On how well they're doing
As programmers, not dancers
1783
Nothing to see here
Something bureaucratic
My eyes just glossed over
These, automatic
1784
They try to provide
Jobs for the spouses
Close to the place
Their actual house is
1785
They also run youth programs
Right on the bases
So that every child
Can meet friendly faces
1786
Funds made available
For overseas travel
Are also for road trips
On concrete or gravel
1787
Any abusing
Of children's reported
And any instance
Of neglect is recorded
1788
For members on contingency
Operations (which is?)
Their kids get additional
Assistances
1789
This section supports
Faith based activities
In order to "build and
Maintain strong families"
1791
I don't know what a
Child care receipt is
But the DoD's supply
Determines expenses
1792
Employees assigned to
Take care of kids
Must learn not to lock them
In boxes with lids
1793
Parents pay money
To send their kids there
So they can go shopping
And color their hair ...
Just kidding, they go fall
Asleep in their chair
1794
A hot-line is published
For child abuse
If you abuse children
You've got a screw loose
1795
Parents are invited
To air their concerns
Like what kind of swear words
Their child now learns
1796
Aside from on-base care
They also can give
Other assistance
For where you might live
1797
Programs developed
For early childhood
Must be accredited
Which is understood
1798
Rather than create them
They can also assist
Youth programs that may
Already exist
1799
Regular children
Not from mil families
Can also attend
To strengthen communities
1800
As usual, definitions
Which should have come earlier
Are only done now
Which just made me surlier
As you can see,
From chapters I skipped
At this point most of
My interest had slipped
If you want to give me
Some motivation
To finish the rest
I'll take compensation
A dollar a section
Seems about fair
My email's on Paypal
If you will look there
Otherwise, I will be
Moving along
Starting to work on
My next legal song
I hope you enjoyed
My posting in verse
It could have been better
And could have been worse
Please do check out
Other posts on my blog
Happy holidays to each of
You, and to your dog
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