Chapter 75
1471
In cases of death
Evidence is collected
So that any foul play
Can be rejected
1475
Gratuity upon death
Is paid, though it's hard
To understand why not
For the Coast Guard
1476
Even after separated
Within a time frame
If you die, a gratuity
Is paid, just the same
1477
With today's modern
Family relations
Determining beneficiaries
Is full-time occupation
1478
The gratuity for death
Is twelve-thousand K
Where they came up with
This, they don't say
1479
Who is authorized
To send that there check
I'm sure the survivors
Don't give a heck
1480
If killed by the state,
Discharged dishonorably,
Or not following orders,
Pity the beneficiary
1481
Someone looks after
The body, usually,
Although I thought sometimes
They're buried at sea
1482
The mil then covers
Expenses, incidental
Depending on all of
The rules, departmental
1482a
Civilian employees
Might also be covered
But less than for members
I have discovered
1483
They also pay for
Prisoners of war
Who die while in custody,
'Cause what are friends for?
1484
Others who die
On military grounds
Might also be buried
If someone's around
1485
They also might pay
To cover expenses
For dependents of soldiers
Now in past tenses
1486
In places remote
For situations few
They might help you bury
And charge for it, too
1487
Land may be bought using
Methods extemporary
In order to inter on
Bases temporary
1488
Remains may sometimes
Be moved from graves
If the current cemetery
Cannot be saved
1489
Relatives of spies
Killed while on duty
Get a year's pay
As a gratuity
1490
Some pretty dumb rules
About measuring distance
When transporting bodies
Are here by insistence
1491
Funeral honors
Are described herein
Applying to any
True veteran
Chapter 76
1501
A department for missing
Person's was founded -
It's kind of ironic
How that sounded
1502
If someone involun-
Tarily goes missing
A commander will assess and
Then maybe do something
1503
He'll notify the Sec
Who springs into action
Forming a committee to
His satisfaction
1504
On behalf of the missing
Things are done, gratis
They'll call your name, loudly,
And then change your status
1505
They'll even look under
The desks and the chairs
And write a report on
The state of affairs
1506
The report may be missing
Some classified info
So long as it's noted
That somebody said so
1507
At some point, you might
Get listed as dead
If someone else wants
Your desk or your bed
1508
It may be appealed
By your next-of-kin
Who think you're hiding
In the kitchen
1509
The cases are closed
For missing from Korea,
The Cold War, and also
From Indochina
1510
Do they always pick on
The Coast Guard like this?
The main office won't deal
With Coast Guard cases
1511
If you're then found alive
O frabjous day!
They might still back-pay you
Callooh! Callay!
1512
But the State might not care -
"You're still dead", they'll say,
If your rescue interferes
With politics they play
1513
Only after finishing
Reading these sections
Do they then include
The reading directions
Chapter 77
1521
After you're dead, you
Still get promoted
Which doesn't surprise me
Look who's gotten voted
1522
You can even get Warranted
This section claims ...
You know? What a warrant is
Is still not explained
1523
If promoted while dead
You don't get a raise
And it's too late to ask
What the job pays
1524
Another short section
It simply describes
What date to use for
When you have died
Chapter 79
1551
Two types of people
Use assumed names
One out of modesty
One out of shame
1552
They corrects records
That are found flawed
And fix inconveniences
If they are caused
1553
Discharge or dismissal
Records are kept
And for fifteen years
Are dusted and swept
1554
Also for separation
Due to disability
Is examined on requests
Made with civility
1555
The staff of review
Consists of at least
A doc and a lawyer
Who are not deceased
1556
Reviews are made public
To those who request
Except when conflicting
With national interest
1557
They try to respond
Within a good time
But if they are late
It isn't a crime
Chapter 80
1561
Complaints about sexual
Harassment are serious
And examined to see if
The actions were grievous
1561a
Civilians are also
Protected by this one
So no hanky panky
Unless both think it's fun
1562
They also check into
Domestic violence
Assuming the families are
Under their providence
1563
Members of congress
Can make a request
To promote posthumously
At someone's behest
1564
Security clearance
Is granted, and hastily
For critical research
Like better puff pastry
1564a
Anyone with access to
Secret info's subject
To a lie detector,
Although they're not perfect
1565
A soldier convicted
For egregious crime
Has his DNA sample
Kept for all time
1565a
These DNA samples
Are made available
For investigations
When legal and warrantable
1566
This section adds rules
Meant for promoting
Knowledge and assistance
To make sure you're voting
Chapter 81
The next three dull chapters
I'm also ignoring
This one on civilian
Employees is boring
Chapter 83
This chapter describes
Intelligence jobs
These guys get code names
Like "Screwball" and "Hobbes"
Chapter 87
This chapter describes
Work in acquisitions
And responsibilities that
Come with these positions
Chapter 88
1781
Policy planners - they
Need at least five of these -
Get to plan policy
For military families
1782
They put out some surveys
And may get some answers
On how well they're doing
As programmers, not dancers
1783
Nothing to see here
Something bureaucratic
My eyes just glossed over
These, automatic
1784
They try to provide
Jobs for the spouses
Close to the place
Their actual house is
1785
They also run youth programs
Right on the bases
So that every child
Can meet friendly faces
1786
Funds made available
For overseas travel
Are also for road trips
On concrete or gravel
1787
Any abusing
Of children's reported
And any instance
Of neglect is recorded
1788
For members on contingency
Operations (which is?)
Their kids get additional
Assistances
1789
This section supports
Faith based activities
In order to "build and
Maintain strong families"
1791
I don't know what a
Child care receipt is
But the DoD's supply
Determines expenses
1792
Employees assigned to
Take care of kids
Must learn not to lock them
In boxes with lids
1793
Parents pay money
To send their kids there
So they can go shopping
And color their hair ...
Just kidding, they go fall
Asleep in their chair
1794
A hot-line is published
For child abuse
If you abuse children
You've got a screw loose
1795
Parents are invited
To air their concerns
Like what kind of swear words
Their child now learns
1796
Aside from on-base care
They also can give
Other assistance
For where you might live
1797
Programs developed
For early childhood
Must be accredited
Which is understood
1798
Rather than create them
They can also assist
Youth programs that may
Already exist
1799
Regular children
Not from mil families
Can also attend
To strengthen communities
1800
As usual, definitions
Which should have come earlier
Are only done now
Which just made me surlier
As you can see,
From chapters I skipped
At this point most of
My interest had slipped
If you want to give me
Some motivation
To finish the rest
I'll take compensation
A dollar a section
Seems about fair
My email's on Paypal
If you will look there
Otherwise, I will be
Moving along
Starting to work on
My next legal song
I hope you enjoyed
My posting in verse
It could have been better
And could have been worse
Please do check out
Other posts on my blog
Happy holidays to each of
You, and to your dog
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