Sunday, December 03, 2006

U. S. Armed Forces Code, in Verse: Chapters 54-57

Chapter 54

1061

Survivors of soldiers
Can shop at mil stores
Which I assume must give
Discounts on S'mores

1062

Widows or widowers
Can eat in mess halls
Assuming they like
Spaghetti and meatballs

1063

The mil has facilities
Called MWRs
With events and activities,
Everything but bars

1064

National Guardsmen
Can also use these
In national disasters
Such as killer bees

Chapter 55

I'm sorry, but sixty-four
Sections on dental
Is too much for anyone
You'd have to be mental

Chapter 56

1111

The mil runs a health fund
For when you retire
Helping with anything
You may require

1112

Money goes into it
To keep you alive -
I still can't get over
Chapter fifty-five

1113

Money goes out of it
Etcetera, etcetera, (yawn)
I'm thinking of taking a
Vacation in Petra

1114

A board oversees it
And so forth and so on -
Do you think that's a nice place
To take a vacation?

1115

The board will review it
And so forth ad nauseum -
After that I was thinking I'd
Take in a museum

1116

The Secretary pays into it,
We've heard this already -
I won't go in winter
I hear it's quite muddy

1117

The funds are invested
La la la, we got it -
I need cash for buying
Souvenirs; can you spot it?

Chapter 57

1121

The Legion of Merit
Is awarded to those
Exemplary soldiers
The President chose

1122

The Medal of Merit
Is also worth cheers
For civilians, but hasn't
Been given in years

1123

Military society
Badges are worn
On special occasions
While in uniform

1124

The award for inventions
Is given in pay
It's paid out in dollars
Up to twenty-five K

1125

You may get awarded
For doing nothing wrong,
They make these all up
As they go along

1126

Killed soldiers' relatives
Get a Gold Star
I'm sure they'd rather have
The soldier, by far

1127

I really don't get
Why awards have precedence,
Does ranking them really
Increase their significance?

1128

A prisoner-of-war
Gets a medal when returned
That's a reward I'd
Rather not have earned

1129

Another for which earning it
Doesn't get me thrilled:
The purple heart's given if
You're wounded or killed

1130

They might still award if
Your paperwork's late
They specially review it
So you'll just have to wait

1131

In case it's so obvious
That you would have missed it,
You only get a purple heart
If you're enlisted

1132

"Seriously violent
Felons" can get one,
They can't enter prison
In order to present one

1133

The Bronze Star is only
Awarded to they
Who are eligible for
Special danger pay

1134

The medal of honor
To the unknown soldier
Is meant for all missing
Not only for him or her

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