How to Ruin Your Son's Computer Games

Something like the following happened this evening...

Eitan (16 yo son) fiddles with the computer and the voice of a Roman emperor is heard.

RE (loud and passionate): Your warriors are in position! The day of battle draws near!

Me: Boy this guy sounds angry.

Tal (12 yo daughter): Yeah, he does, doesn't he?

Eitan: Hey, be quiet, I'm listening to this.

RE: With blood and fire, steel and muscle you will drive your enemies before you and destroy them!

Me (moving over to computer): He's got issues. Listen to all that violence.

Tal (moving over to computer): He probably wasn't loved as a child.

Ariella (17 yo daughter, moving over to computer): Maybe he broke a nail.

Eitan: Will you guys shut up, I want to hear this.

RE: They will fall before the might of your glorious legionnaires! You shall make Rome whole again, oh mighty emperor!

Me: He really ought to get some therapy and deal with those anger issues.

Tal: You don't want to keep those feelings all bottled up inside. It could be dangerous.

Ariella: He could hurt someone, or himself.

Eitan: Come on guys! I can't hear what he's saying!

RE: Nothing will stand in your way! Your forces are the mightiest on Earth!

Me: Wow. Maybe he had a hard day. The guy should learn to relax.

Tal: He could use a good cup of cocoa and a warm bath.

Ariella: Maybe a massage. He sounds tense.

Eitan: That's not funny, just shut up!

RE: With a mighty trumpet and a swinging sword you shall conquer all and be victorious!

Me: I wonder if his family knows the problems he's been having at work.

Tal: Poor guy. A massage, or maybe ... oh wait I know!

Ariella: Yes! Yes! He needs ...

Eitan (puts his head in his hands)

RE: All hail oh mighty emperor!

Me, Tal, and Ariella (holding out our hands): A MAKEOVER!

Eitan: Crap, I can't play this anymore. (shuts off game, gets up, and walks away).

Yehuda

Technorati tags: computer games