Thursday, July 05, 2007

Little Stick Man and His Various Bouts With Disaster and Death

Wherever I went on my vacation, Little Stick Man had been there first. And like it as not, Little Stick Man had suffered a calamitous event.

Sometimes LSM is Little Stick Woman (LSW), Little Stick Old Person With a Cane (LSOPwC), Little Stick Person in a Wheelchair (LSPiW), Little Stick Child (LSC), or even Little Stick Baby (LSB).

You can tell LSW not by her bust; LSW has the top part of the bust, but the rest of her body just falls straight down to her waist. LSW wears a triangular skirt when plainly dressed, or a huge bell shaped ball gown if out for a night on the town at, say, a bathroom.

Undoubtedly in Scotland, where some men wear kilts, the bell dress is more indicative of LSW than the triangular skirt.

I first noticed LSM's propensity for disaster on the back of this matchbox:

I usually see recipes on the back of things like bags of flour (" ... and add one cup of Rollings Reliable (tm) all-purpose self-rising flour, and stir.") I couldn't figure out what a recipe was doing on the back of a matchbox (" ... and then light your stove with an Acme all-purpose safety match, and stir.")

But most alarmingly was the little warning label: "Danger! Fire Kills Children". And right next to this warning was LSC, his mouth in an O of surprise and his left arm on fire.

Like you, I'm sure, my only thought when looking at this picture was "Oh! How cute! Look at the little stick child with his cute little mouth and his cute little arm on fire. I have to take a picture!"

And that's when I began to notice that LSM and family seem to have turned up and had a bad time at a whole lot of places.

For one thing, he's always slipping or tripping all over the place ...

In this one, he apparently slipped on a fish.

And here he managed to slip down the stairs.

When LSM isn't slipping, he's tripping over a small triangle on the ground.

And in this one place, a castle grounds I believe, he managed to fall, slip, stumble, topple, and trip all at once. The man needs to get his inner ear checked.

Here he managed to pour acid on his hand.

England 2 186
And here he received a nasty bump on his head.

In this store, he tripped the alarm system and had to run from a smoke screen, getting out just in time.

In other places, I saw LSM drowning in deep water and throwing his hands up to protect himself from falling debris near a construction site, but I didn't manage to snap pictures of these, much to my dismay.

Finally, LSM met his inglorious end through electrocution at an electric pole:

Not only once, but at every single pole on the street. You'd think he would have learned his lesson after dying the first few times.

And that was the end of Little Stick Man.



MaksimSmelchak said...

Hi Yehuda,

Great posts!

I loved the trials of "Stick Man."


Jonas Martinsson said...

LOL - priceless!

Yehuda Berlinger said...

Thanks. I received some curious stares while taking these pictures in England.