Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Games from 2005 I haven't played

‘Dillos in Austin

"A simulation for 2 to 4 ground-dwelling armored rodents."

But is it really a simulation?


2012 Overture

Another recently unearthed musical piece from PDQ Bach.


A Fist Full of Throttle

"The Ultimate, 100% knock down drag em' out Rock & Roll, boogie woogie till' ya puke, adult, biker lifestyle board game. Play "A Fist Full Of Throttle"........ And remember Keep The Shiny Side Up And Rock On!!!!"

OK ....


Aaargh !

Not to be confused with ...


Aargh!


Age of Steam Expansion - The Moon

Not to be confused with Lunar Rails. What is it with gamers wanting to run trains on the moon? Is there a lot to see during the ride? "Oh look, another rock."


Alfredo's Food Fight and
Food Fight

"Game includes 12 meatballs, 4 flinging forks, and 1 spinning chef. Batteries not included."

OK ....


Axis of Evil - 2007

Bush learns that what goes around, comes around. "Grrr! Take that, you ... you American!"


Bad Babiez

"Put the stereo at full volume, flood the bathroom and make the babysitter run away. But be aware that nobody sees you cry or wet the bed... or your reputation will be seriously compromised."

Reputation? For a baby? "Oh, I just cried, here. Is that ok? Do you think that's ok? Well what are the popular babies doing right now? Oh, I am so embarrassed."


Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus

"A boardgame based on the Barbie movie Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus."

Which I unfortunately missed, so I guess I just won't understand the game.


Batman Begins UNO

Because playing Uno is just so much like being a caped superhero.


Black Stories 2

The sequel to "Black Stories", of course. Seeing as the game is all about violent crime, I have a feeling that this will never be sold in the U.S. under its current title without causing an uproar.


Bratz Twister

"Exactly the same a Twister, but it has pictures of the Bratz toys and costs $2 more. Also known as '5th Horseman of the Apocalypse'"

Hey! I would pay $2 to twister with the Bratz. They're sexy!


Cactus Throne

Um, I hereby abdicate the throne if I have to sit in that thing.


Charge!

Oh, a war game. I thought it was a shopping game.


Cow Poker

If you win, you have to tip the cows.


Dancing Dragons

Not to be confused with ...


Dancing Mice


Dicefest

No, not Risk. Actually, it isn't one.


Dogs Do

Please do not click on the above link. It's just what is sounds like.


Elves Under Hoof

"It seems the elves have opened up a crate of ultra-violent video games and played them all night. By morning they had been turned into mindless zombie elves bent on destruction."

Sounds like my kids.


Finger Football

I played this as a kid for free. Now you can pay to play it.


Frankenstein's Children

My kids, when my wife hasn't had her morning coffee. (I would have said "me", but I don't drink coffee.)


Gloom: Unhappy Homes

I thought games were supposed to be a picker upper. Brrrr.


Girls' Nite Out: The Party Game for Women

Because our girls need a board game to teach them how to tell stories and make cocktails.


Holey Cow!

No joke here. Cows are just funny. Cow cow cow.


Hooey

Sounds like a carbon copy of "I doubt it/Bulls**t"


Hot Wheels Acceleracers Collectable Card Game

Because cards about cars are so much cooler than the cars, themselves. Wait a minute - did someone say "collectible car game"?


I Am NOT a Communist

No, but Sen McCarthy was. Isn't that ironic?


I Want Candy!

"All the fun of a pinata, with none of the screaming, accidental concussions, or clean-up. For two to six hyperactive greed-crazed kids"

This is SO not coming into my house. What are we learning here?


Kiss My Rules!

What the designer says when he gets back comments on his prototype.


Liebrary

Because Daryl Hannah says so.


Love U

"Love U is a fast-paced search game based on text messages."

it hd 2 hpn evn2le. shdnt it b cald "lv u"?


Miss Monster

Because monsters deserve beauty pageants.


Monopoly - United States Marine Edition

"YOU WILL NOT PASS GO, YOU STUPID !^%&^%#!! YOU WILL NOT COLLECT $200, %*!@%*@!*!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!!!" "YES SIR!!!"

Actually, the marines have to collect various pieces of military equipment using luck and limited resources. Sounds a lot like the real war in Iraq.


Paranoia Mandatory Card Game

The computer is your friend. You will play this game. Anyone who does not play this game is a traitor.


Peace

A war game.


Play Gauss

"This is a collection of 12 games playable with the same components released to commemmorate the 150th anniversary of Gauss' death."

Which is why I play games.


Playas and Haters

Pimp: the Backhanding stole all of its thunder. Looks just as good.


Pop Belly

"Feed the cute piccies with chips, making them get more and more full. But don't feed a pig too much or else POP!"

Animal torture and exploding pigs! What could be more fun!


Rock Paper Scissors Game

More ways to make money that I never thought of.


Run for your Life, Candyman!

A twisted version of Candyland. I'm in favor of it. Especially since "Candyman" used to mean "drug pusher".


Stoner Trivia, A Card Game

Finally, a trivia game about drugs.


Team Work Religion

"'Team Work Religion' is not a game about winning or losing - it is a game of having fun."

Amen, brother.


Terakh: A Creative Strategy Game

Apparently, there is more to Abraham's idolatrous father than I knew.


Uncontrolled Squid

This year's Cthulu award winner (an award that is sadly lacking in the gaming industry).


Wreck The Nation: The Game of Political Misbehavior

This is not a political blog, so I won't say anything.


West Bank Gamer's Game

"Greg Schloesser, founder of the Westbank Gamers, has moved to the mountains of Tennessee. Now, all of his friends in the Westbank Gamers are racing to be the first to visit him at his new home. However, before they can visit, they must first race across the United States in search of chips, cookies and sodas."

Awww... No one's made a game about me, yet! *sniff*


Just what have I been doing with my time?

Yehuda