Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Plush Cthulhu Dolls and Other Horrors

Chtulhu, the brainchild of H. P. Lovecraft, is the most atrocious, horrific, and insanity-inducing being in the known universe. An elder god whose mere name invokes abject terror in mortals, his multi-tentacled and grotesque presence is supposed to drive humans in a one hundred mile radius gibberingly insane.

Therefore it is somewhat, um, surprising to see what toy-makers have done with it.

The following are all from Toy Vault and available on Amazon. Click through to Toy Vault to see even more figures. Quotes are from Amazon's product descriptions.

Cthulhu plush doll

Finally, a Cthulhu that won't keep you awake all night with fear! This is a very cuddly representation of the Cthulhu depicted by H.P. Lovecraft. This figure can sit on a bookshelf with its legs dangling over the edge. This Cthulhu plush is 12 inches tall and filled with plush and beanies.
If that's not enough for you, try the electronic screaming version:
Cthulhu screams! Really. As all H.P. Lovecraft aficionados know, Cthulhu has a number of phobias that cause him to be rather high strung. Things like a scuttling mouse, a lace doily, or a broken mirror cause him to shriek in terror. This cute and cuddly 12-inch Cthulhu plush is sensitive, too, and he can be a real freakish screaming terror. So, look out. Don't sit on him or he may scare the pajamas off you!
Also comes in hand-puppet and giant sizes.

Secret Agent Cthulhu Plush

Cthulhu Miskatonic University Graduate Plush

After 4 long years hitting the books, Cthulhu is presented with his degree from the ancient Ivy-covered institution Miskatonic University, graduating with double honors in Human Sacrifice and Perdition. Makes a great gift to a graduate or cannibal.
If green horror isn't your fashion, try ...

Valentino Cthulhu Plush

With the following helpful description:
Dressed in a sensational ensemble that shows off his fashionable side, Cthulhu is dressed this spring in this evocative outfit from designee Toee Vouwt.

It is true that Cthulhu gravitated from the gaseous green star of Xoth to invade a nascent Earth. Cthulhu and his varying cohorts fought the good fight, but at the end of the day they were still imprisoned, Cthulhu in the submerged non-Euclidean city Râlyeh.

There, somewhere within the slanting vaults of Râlyeh, Cthulhu slumbered, using his dreaming mind to cultivate droves of screwball human followers who might eventually propagate Cthulhuâs release. These brave men and women were ready and willing to light the black candles and throw on their rubber octopus masks. As a reward they might one day be stamped out like cigarette butts or meet their ultimate demise somewhere at the apex of dark gelatinous tentacles.

However, apparently Cthulhu has communed with his rambling nimrod followers enough to know that now, these days, style and fashion apparently go hand in hand with the destruction of everything sane in the world. Accordingly, the Main Man Cthulhu has now sheathed himself in sporty new colors guaranteed to drive those that see him insane---the Lovecraft version of insane, like mumbling opium addicts who decide to write down their unbelievable tales of polyanthropomorphic horror before they ultimately eat a bullet.

So, when Râlyeh does finally bubble back up like a giant cork somewhere in the Pacific, and some nearby ship is foolish enough to mistake the city for an island, be prepared to see Cthulhu to squeeze his way out of that oblong vault door bespangled in his new cinnamon and ebony color scheme.

Dracula "Dracthulhu" Halloween Cthulhu Plush

Aw, how cute.

Cthulhu Plastic Figure

In case one elder god sleeping in your bedroom isn't enough, you can also get:

Gug plush doll

Nyarlathotep plush doll

Moon Beast Plush

These beasts are Nyarlathotep's servants.

Ithaqua Plush

Hound of Tindalos Plush

According to HP Lovecraft, "No one who has ever actually met the Hounds has survived." If you are disturbed enough to order this plush, may you survive your encounter.

Tynes Cowen also has many ridiculous Cthulhu products, including a stuffed Cthulhu, "Got Cthulhu?" bumper stickers, and more.

If you don't want to buy lovable old Cthulhu, you can make one as an art project, like the above baby coat or a crocheted doll.

Of course, John Kovalic's My Little Cthulhu by Dreamland Toyworks is still the best.


1 comment:

Chris said...

I think I've seen most of the Cthulhu toys before - but not the minions! The moonbeast and gug are awesome! Now if only they had a nightgaunt as well... :)