Monday, April 10, 2006

I'm just bitching because nobody invited me to GoF

You are sitting in front of your computer.

There is a browser here.

> HOW DO YOU PLAY SETTLERS OF CATAN?

I don't understand your question.

> LOOK UP SETTLERS OF CATAN

There is no Settlers of Catan here.

> GO BOARDGAMEGEEK

There is no response from Boardgamegeek. Try again later.

> GO BOARDGAMEGEEK

You are at BoardGameGeek.

There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.

> LOOK SCREEN

You can't look at the screen! An ad is covering it.

> CLOSE AD

You try to close the ad. The ad returns.

> CLOSE AD

You have closed the ad.

There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is a sidebar here.
There is a column of news here.
There is a column of Geeklists here.
There is a column of general forums here.
There is a column of game related forums here.
There is a column of eBay ads here.
There are pictures here.
There is a Logged in as Yehuda notice here.
There is a Geekmail notice here.
There is a search bar here.
There is a menu here.
There is a trademark notice here.

> LOOK UP SETTLERS OF CATAN

There is no Settlers of Catan here.

> LOOK SIDEBAR

The sidebar contains:

A recently viewed list
An ad

> LOOK UP SETTLERS OF CATAN IN RECENTLY VIEWED LIST

There is no Settlers of Catan in the recently viewed list.

> LOOK RECENTLY VIEWED LIST

The recently viewed list contains:

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Boardgame
Hive
Letras
Alpha Playing Cards
Sequence for Kids
Reef Encounter
Crystal Faire
The Rooster Coop
Santorini
Carcassonne
Children of Many Lands
Listen Up!
Dump
Monopoly
Stop
Monopoly Here and Now
Go
Acquire
Eurogame
Get The Message

> SEARCH SETTLERS OF CATAN

You are not able to do that, yet.

> ENTER SETTLER OF CATAN INTO SEARCH BAR

You enter "Settler of Catan" into the search bar.

> CLICK SEARCH

You are at search results. The search results are:

No matches were found in the database for your query.

> BACK

You are at BoardGameGeek.

> ENTER SETTLERS OF CATAN INTO SEARCH BAR

You enter "Settlers of Catan" into the search bar.

> CLICK SEARCH

You are at search results. The search results are:

Settlers Of Catan, The - Travel Edition (2002) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan - Event Cards is an alternate name of Ereignisse auf Catan [Shop]
Settlers of Catan - Historical Scenarios is an alternate name of Siedler von Catan, Die - Historische Szenarien [Shop]
Settlers of Catan - Historical Scenarios II is an alternate name of Siedler von Catan, Die - Historische Szenarien II [Shop]
Settlers of Catan 10th Anniversary 3-D Special Edition Chest Set (2005) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan : Rockman Edition (2005) or Settlers of Catan: Megaman Edition [Shop]
Settlers of Catan Card Game Expansions, The (2002) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan Card Game, The (1996) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan, The (1995) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan, The - 5-6 Player Expansion (1999) [Shop]
Settlers of Catan, The - Cities and Knights is an alternate name of Cities and Knights of Catan, The [Shop]
Settlers of Catan, The - Seafarers is an alternate name of Seafarers of Catan, The [Shop]

> CLICK SETTLERS OF CATAN

There is no Settlers of Catan here.

> CLICK SETTLERS OF CATAN, THE (1995)

You are at Settlers of Catan, The.

There is an ad here.
There is an ad here.
There is a rating here.
There is a rank here.
There is a customization option here.
There is an ad here.
There is an information here.
There is a description here.
There is a statistics here.
There is an Images here.
There is a Forums here.
There is a Marketplace here.
There is an eBay marketplace here.
There is a Files here.
There is a Geeklists here.
There is a You Might Also Enjoy... here.
There is a Links here.
There is a Your Collection here.
There are images here.
There is an ad here.
There is a trademark notice here.

> FIND RULES

There is a rules in the Forums.

> CLICK RULES

I don't see any rules.

> CLICK RULES IN THE FORUMS

You click rules.

The Forums changes to:

Soldier card
Settlements on mulitiple harbors
Help Noob alarm
New Rules
settlers of catan pen and paper edition
What happens if there aren't enough resources?
Yet another Robber question
The Mayfair Contradiction
Trade-exchange-trade back. Is it legal?
Comments wanted from players on builds every turn xpack

> CLICK NEW RULES IN THE FORUMS

You are at a meaningless thread.

> BACK

You are at Settlers of Catan, The.

> LOOK FILES

Files contains:

Settlers.pdf 1 page simple play overview
Die Siedler Von Catan.pdf Traducción al ESPAÑOL de las reglas del juego, por Rodolfo Palafox
catan mobile.pdf Board mobile based on a photo of the forum (fixed trading rates)
catan movil.pdf Tablero portátil basado en una foto del foro. (Arreglado costes)
SoC_turn_aid_Avery_5164_or_5264_v1.0.doc Player Turn synopsis. Avery label to stick onto back of Building Cost Card.
SoC_Turn_aid_XLS_v1.0.xls Player Turn synopsis. Cut and glue onto back of Building Cost Card.
Settlers of Catan Card Deck T#0 Settlers of Catan Card Deck Tuckboxes with artwork
Settlers of Catan Hex Boxes.pdf Settlers of Catan Boxes for Hex Pieces with artwork
Wizard of Catan.pdf "Wizard of Catan" scenario -- requires some components from Das Buch
Dices2Cards.pdf Cards to replace dice in Catan. Plus a dice box, if shuffling is desired.

> CLICK SETTLERS.PDF

You are at File Download page.

There is information here.
There is a Tip jar here.
There is a download link here.

> CLICK DOWNLOAD LINK

The download link doesn't work. Try again later.

> CLICK DOWNLOAD LINK

The download link doesn't work. Try again later.

> CLICK DOWNLOAD LINK

The download link doesn't work. Aldie and Derk are at the GoF. If you keep clicking on this link, you are likely to be eaten by a grue.

> BACK

You are at Settlers of Catan, The.

> CLICK REVIEWS IN THE FORUMS

Updating... Nothing happens.

> BACK

The connection has timed out.

> GO TECHNORATI/LINKS TO JERGAMES.BLOGSPOT.COM

You are at ego masturbation.

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Yehuda

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4 comments:

Ryan Walberg said...

What's the big deal about the GoF anyway? You'd think that of all people in the world, board gamers would be the least likely to start up cliques, but noooooo, here comes the GoF.

Someone said something wise a long time ago in reference to high school, and it went like this:

Why would you want to go to a party where you can't bring your friends?

Yehuda said...

It just sounds like a nice con. And so many people talk about it, and no one gets invited.

It really doesn't matter to me, since I wouldn't be able to go without round trip airfare to the states, anyway.

But it gives me something to complain about.

Yehuda

Ryan Walberg said...

You should complain about the BGG outages. It's the "in thing" to do at the moment.

I'd take a weekend at the cabin (with my friends and the bottom 5 games in my collection) over the GoF (with the "in crowd" and unreleased games) any time of the year.

Your post was hilarious. Keep it up!

manowarplayer said...

Lol!

This has been my experience at BGG for the past few weeks it seems.

Well done.

Wait a minute... I didn't get an invite either!