Wednesday, June 07, 2006
A True Account of Talking to Monopoly
Monopoly woke me this morning,
Her voice loud and clear,
Saying, "Hey! Get out of bed!
I'm tired of sitting on your shelf.
I've been wanting to play with you
For fifteen years. Now, let's get
I stumbled out of bed, confused.
"Monopoly?" I muttered. "I didn't
Know you were still there. I thought
I had given you away, years ago."
"Given me away?" she almost screeched.
"Why, didn't I give you the best years
Of my life? Wasn't it me
You came running to on those long days of boredom
At your Aunt Petunia's house? Who else, but me?"
I was more sad than nostalgic. "That's true,
That's true. We had a good thing going once,
"Of course we did, and we still do!
Now get out of bed and let's play!" She trumpeted
And pranced about, like a little puppy.
I almost didn't have it in me to break her heart,
But I knew it was better done quickly,
Than to drag it out.
"Monopoly," I said, reaching for the words,
"There's something you should know. There's ...
Monopoly stopped, all cold and silent, like a
Winter's shadow. She looked more hurt than mad.
"Somebody else," she snorted. "I suppose it's
One of those shiny new computer games, with
All the silicon. You'll be bored with them
And then you'll come crawling back to me.
I'm still the most popular game in town!"
"No," I said, "it's not like that at all.
It's over, can't you see?
It was over when I grew out of dice and spinners,
Over when I no longer wanted to do what the card said,
Over when I no longer cared about waiting
To see if someone landed on Boardwalk.
My new games are better than that." I
Saw her cringe, but recklessly I went on.
"They may not be popular, and they may not
Be known, but they are full of substance.
They give me love when I give them love,
And not only when they want to. They
Can hold a conversation, and not only give
Orders. They want to know what I'm thinking,
And not only divert me from what's important.
In short, Monopoly, they are real games,
That add value to my life. You only took
Value from my life. After each time,
After it was over,
I wondered what I had accomplished. And I
Couldn't answer. I didn't feel good
About myself. I do now."
Monopoly looked down at the ground, and
Kicked her shoe. "It can't be over," she
Sniffled. "Everyone else still loves me, why
I knew then that she wasn't asking questions,
She just needed love. "Oh, Monopoly!"
I yelled, and threw my arms around her big old
Board. "I still love you, don't you ever think
Otherwise. But I grew up, and you didn't. I
Can no longer play with you, than I could with
The five-year old versions of my grown-up children.
But hey, I know you'll be fine. You'll always have
A following. Now go directly to bed.
Do not pass go.
Do not collect two hundred dollars." She gave me a
Weak smile. I tucked her back in the box,
And closed the lid.
"Sleep now," I sang, and got on with my life,
And out of the dark.
Opening two lines based on Frank O'Hara
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I really like this, and could see it as a print with a Yehuda-cartoon.
Why, thankee. Do so, if you like, for I no nothing of such things. Give me a 5% commission on the wholesale price.
If you provide an appropriately poignant and funny cartoon, I'll see what I can do.
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