Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Absolutely Worst User Guide in the Entire World

You may think you've seen bad English, but you haven't - until now. I have in my possession the absolute worst user guide ever written in what I can only suppose was supposed to be English. Bar none.

I've been on the Internet for 22 years now. I've seen all the funny foreign signs about maids and swimming pools, I've seen all the "Engrish" sites.

With most bad or funny translations, you can kind of figure out what they were trying to say. Not with this one. I challenge anyone to figure out a single sentence from the entire twenty-two pages of this guide, which allegedly describes how to use an Infinity "mp34 player".

It looks to me like somebody thought that simply running Japanese text through an automatic conversion tool wasn't bad enough, so they ran it first through Japanese to Chinese, then Chinese to Korean, and then, as an afterthought from Korean to Swiss. And the original text was probably wasn't even Japanese. Maybe it was in Sanskrit.

Well, here it is: The Absolutely Worst User Guide in the Entire World. Ever. Click through to the large images to read the text. Don't get too close; you don't want your brain to explode.

Pages 1 to 3
Break to order to sow continuously: Broadcast the stop hour remembers to broadcast the position, the some song orders to a time while broadcast the some catalogue up is shut down, switch on after then park the last time of time order, Play order to start broadcast from now on.

Pages 4 to 7
Elucidation:The sound effect mode that sow to play music in this choice, sow to play music still at this time.

Pages 8 to 11
Total elucidation: When enter the lyrics broadcast the interface, continue to broadcast the current song, at the same time according to the degree of progress manifestation for broadcast to should of lyrics, be after broadcast, according to broadcast the mode enactment into the follow-up song to broadcast the function, the following continuous song contain lyrics, then still broadcast the interface in the lyrics, if have no lyrics, then returning to broadcast the interface to broadcast the follow-up song.

Pages 12 to 15
Total elucidation: Enter to record sound the interface, the born and new recording document, start record sound with the current coding method, roll over to mark at present just in the recording, and show the degree of progress of the current recording.

Pages 16 to 19
Short press Menu key into the submenu of FM, the choice" manhunt Class", short press Menu key into, again short press Next key, choose the fit Class to press the Menu key confirmation, then return the interface of FM.

Pages 20 to 22
The format chemical engineering see first have, the choice" cent area and encrypt" options, will encrypt the disk capacity to choose a fit capacity, and hook to choose to establish the user's name or passwords, at an importation of" new user's name" password, re- input the same password in " the new password confirm" place, click to press button" beginning", then start to divide the area.
By the way: the box? It reads: "Music Digital Player, The Earth Music Wind Lead By Me."


This post is intended for non-commercial purposes. Although I believe the guide has no artistic merit, and therefore does not warrant copyright, I believe that my reproduction here is fair use.


David Klein said...

I have read some really bad ones before, but I must admit, this one takes the cake. On the other hand, I have one that might be more amusing. The point is that this one is such total gibberish that one can't even get any humorous content out of it. I'll see if I can find mine and post it.

Anonymous said...

That may well be the worst user guide ever, but the worst user *guidance* is whatever caused you to purchase the device.