Sunday, August 05, 2007

Haveil Havalim: the Sex Edition

It was Tu Ba'av last week, our national holiday about sex. This week's Haveil Havalim is therefore all about sex, too. It's not my fault, of course; I just post what the submitters send to me. It's not like I'm obsessed with sex, or see sex where there isn't any, or anything like that.

Jewish

Discarded Lies describes God's sexual relationship with Israel, and more about Tu Ba'av.

Rafi G thinks we need to sex up our synagogues services to prevent people from using their cellphones.

Dixie Yid gives a lesson about having to "fall" to be rebuilt, an obvious reference to sex.

Hirhurim Musings describes Reb Shimon Shkop's early relation with YU, and something about secular studies, which may have something to do with sex, but I'm not entirely sure.

A Simply Jew writes about the song HaSimcha Tamid BaLev by Erez Levanon, and something about some part of his body overflowing with something whenever he hears it.

He then goes on about Steven Spielberg's Jewish ancestors from Sudilkov. Back then, they had lots of time and lots of children.

Soccer Dad tries to organize some Tu Ba'av amateur matchmaking on his site.

Cross Current describes the relationship between R. Akiva Eiger and Mendelssohn, two very different personalities. Also, very different types of people like sex.

Limmud, a conference for all types of Jewish learning in various different subjects, such as music, religion, sex, literature, and so on, will have a conference in South Africa, as It's Almost Supernatural reports.

Rabbi Fleischmann writes about how the external part of a human being is important, and I'm sure he's referring to sex.

Judeopundit questions why concern for ethics means revamping what kashrut means. Next someone will write about about kosher sex.

Friar Yid talks about various Rabbi's recent guilt trips about aliyah, and whether this means some people love more or less than other people.

There are no Feminists on a Sinking Ship cites a Jewish Press article about yeshivas and parents with differing hashkafot, and what this means for the child's eventual career and marriage.

Jewlicious talks about hot tznius girls swinging their arms.

Rabbi Without a Cause tells us to make people happy and smiling, which is good advice for you know what. Of course, he also says to leave them laughing, which is more of my experience with you know what.

Israel

Temunot posts an obviously allegorical description of the wet, surging, and rushing Dan River.

Psychotoddler relates an equally allegorical tale of a search for a sexy bank clerk names Rivka while frustratingly trying to change dollars into shekels.

Secular Blasphemy finds the nightlife (and daytime) sexy and fun in Jerusalem.

The Muqata welcomes home more Nefesh to Nefesh arrivals. Aliyah is a bit like sex, I think.

Even Yaruka talks about Orange (Freud, nudge nudge), a flirting sales rep, and the surprising things that go on when you get a house visitor while trying to buy a phone.

On the subject of Freud, Leon Feingold talks about bats and balls as the IBL season wraps up.

Me-ander takes pictures of Israel's airport, while carrying pouches that made her feel like a pregnant woman carrying twins.

Yael shares some sexy pictures of herself and some boys at the beach.

Israel's national blog now has a Youtube presence, home to millions of videos of people undressing (not that I would know).

Politics

The New Republic delicately avoids mentioning anything about sex while talking about how Jordan may need to be involved in the peace process. But if you take the first occurrences in the article of the letters "s", "e", and "x", they spell out the word "sex". Coincidence? I don't think so.

Elder of Ziyon notes that the IDF is simply miserable about hasbara, which doesn't surprise me considering the way that they handle sexual abuse cases.

Dry Bones offers up an old cartoon about Don Quixote, an old story about a man suffering from sexual fantasies about a farmgirl, while describing the need for common enemies in the peace process.

Simply Jews notes the Iranian arrests of alleged Pro-democracy Americans. Frankly, I think the antidisestablishmentarians in Iran don't get enough sex.

He goes on to talk about the over-zealous political coverage of Debbie Schlussel about a movie made in Hollywood, a town that is just drenched in smut and sin.

Five Spirited Zionists discusses the U.S. arms sale to Saudi Arabia, which brings to mind the old peace slogan: Make Love, Not War.

Dave Bender talks about an Israeli leadership mission to Columbus, GA, and posts a picture of Keren Barak, Likud Party Knesset member nominee, who's pretty sexy.

Daled Amos talks about the last eight Jews in Baghdad. With only eight Jews, it's probably pretty hard to get a date.

Eight Jews? That's luxury. Jewish Blogmeister reports that only one Jew lives in Afghanistan. Dating's out of the question.

Thoughts By Seawitch describes the poor treatment of Jews at the hands of the Ottomans before the creation of Israel, a period that was so difficult, it was hard to think about the joyful things in life such as sex.

Gateway Pundit gives us Hillel Halkin's opinion on how Israel used to use its suffering for hasbara purposes, and should still today, which would make life better for all of us and give us more time to ...

Yourish describes Syria's hostile overtures, and the illicit relationship between Syria and Iran.

View from a Height describes other relations, such as the upcoming Saudi participation in peace efforts.

Jewish Current Issues talks about yet another misguided attempt to put political handovers before resolving terror issues, which is like trying to have sex in the expectation that foreplay will follow.

Israellycool mocks a Hamas matyr, ending with a quip about his seventy-two virgins.

Seraphic Secret complains about repeating the same mistaken gestures and getting nothing in return, which reminds me a lot about my sex life as a teenager.

An Israeli man suggestively stuffs the barrel of his gun with ripe fruit in a protest against rocket attacks on Sderot.

Yid With Lid takes issue with the Reform movement's stand on a new JNF bill about leasing land to non-Jews, and undoubtedly would have issues with the Reform movement's stand on sexual issues, too. He also equates Olmert's quota plan regarding Sudanese refugees with the British white paper during WWII, which ultimately led to the deaths of untold thousands of Jews. Olmert should have more sex and stop making morally bad political decisions.

Random Thoughts discusses an interview in which a man from Hizbullah claims that they appreciated Olmert pulling out early, a feeling shared by many women about Olmert.

Barbara's Tchatzkahs talks about narcissism, abusive relationships, and other relationship troubles.

Israel Matzav writes that Olmert may now be letting a lot of Palestinian refugees back into Israel. There used to be fewer refugees, but there are a lot more now because the Palestinians, apparently, uh, you know.

Other

Temunot's post has absolutely nothing to do with sex, but is a heartfelt song from Malki, a 15 year old girl killed in the Sbarro pizzeria bombing. Others, such as Schvach and Israel Matzav also talk about Malki. Similarly, Elie's Expositions writes a poem about his son.

Rubicon3 mentions the new U.S. postal stamps featuring comic book superheroes, many of whom were created by (male geeky) Jewish talents, and all of whom had sexual hangups (big surprise).

Orthomom describes how a billboard with a lot of naked bottoms got a rise out of some church members. And goes on to talk about many other things naked. Such as using sex and sexual innuendo to attract people's attention, which I, of course, would never do.

Treppenwitz describes how we all feel special, but special people can make us feel special. Then he gets a lot of makeup put on his face by some cute young woman.

Life of Rubin describes the survival of a Jewish casualty of the Minneapolis bridge disaster, whose deep plunge into the dark waters of the Mississippi River caused him to act on his most basic instincts.

Sweet Rose has a fourth blogiversary, and she describes about how she has felt exposing herself over the last four years.

Little Frumhouse on the Prairie asks about blog addiction, and the trouble it may cause with one's spouse.

Shiloh Musings says that, after getting back from a trip to New York and New Jersey, nothing's new. Which is true about sex, too.

My Right Word writes about a sexy new perfume called Shiloh. And she goes to write about hot Jewish females and lots of talk about sex.

Everyone Needs Therapy talks about Intimate Opportunities, claiming that it's not what you think (yeah, right).

Rabbi Fleischmann posts a blog quiz, which is a lot like a sex quiz, except about blogs, not sex.

Random Thoughts talks about bedtime.

Ha'azina Tefilati writes a moving post about depression and being too close to the problem, something that even sex can't always help you with.

Ellie's Talk writes about "riding the bicycle" and different types of riders.

Baka Diary hates the breast stroke.

This Normal Life bemoaned the shabbat waiting for the release of the last Harry Potter book, which, by the way, was chock full of sexual tension.

Now go take a cold shower.

Yehuda
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