Friday, November 24, 2006

U. S. Armed Forces Code, in Verse: Chapters 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21

Chapter 13

311

Chapters get repealed
Why not this, as well?
It says the mil's made of
All able bodied males

312

There's exemptions for postman
Sailors and pilots
Religious people serve
But don't have to fight lots

Chapter 15

331

If one state rebels
The president calls
Forces from others 'til
The rebel state falls

332

He can suppress
Any type of rebellion
Armed group, pep squad,
Or freshman cotillion

333

If ignoring the laws
Or repressing its citizens
Slackards better look out
For federal militia men

334

If he doesn't like people
Meeting in the street
He can send them all home
To have a good sleep

335

These laws don't apply
To North Vietnam
They do to the Virgins
And also to Guam

Chapter 17

351

If a war's underway
And we need guns on boats
The Prez can put them on
Anything that floats

Chapter 18

371

Information collected by
Military establishment
Can be given when needed
To any local government

372

Also equipment is
Loaned out, when needed
If not readily available
And instructions are heeded

373

They give recipients
Instructions for perusing
With missiles it helps
To know what you're using

374

In continuing benevolence
They even do maintenance
Or operate the equipment
If the owners lack patience

375

Participation is limited
In general circumstance
To civilian activity
Unless ordered to, by chance

376

Another limitation, and
Be sure the mil heeds it
This stuff can't be lent if
The military needs it

377

The stuff that is lent
Isn't given for free
Rental for a cruise missile's
A buck ninety-three

378

After reading this section
I needed a sedative
It has just four lines
And two double negatives

379

Five hundred sailors
Are stationed on boats
For drug interception
On waters remote

380

The Attorney General and
The Defense Secretary
Check civilian usage of
Equipment, military

381

If you need to fight drugs
And you know that you do
The government has a deal
On equipment for you

382

This section was added
In case there was doubt
If attacked by WMDs
The mil might help out

Chapter 20

401

Humanitarian assistance
Is given only when
It promotes our security
Or helps train our men

402

If not our supplies then
We might send them anyway
If we've space on ships and
They won't be thrown away

404

There's special exception
For disaster relief -
Which is good, the last sections
Were beyond my belief

405

Defense money's not given
To support the U.N.
If they're nice, then maybe
We could loan them a pen

Chapter 21

421

Regardless of budget
For cryptography stuff
The money for doodads
Is never enough

422

We host guests and pay
For their burgers and fries
And wanted ads needed
To hire more spies

423

Spying activities
Sometimes make money
To pay for expenses and
Awards, which is funny

424

How spying's conducted,
No matter who says,
Is never revealed
Except to the Prez

425

Merchandise implying
Intel authority
Is illegal, they'll sue you
With utmost priority

426

The merging of ISR
Functions is keen
And should be done by
Two-thousand eighteen

431

They set up businesses
As fronts for their spying
So someone selling used cars
May actually be lying

432

Profits from business for
Operations clandestine
Are audited and deposited
For further investin'

433

Business operation
Follow legal regulations
Except when this would
Compromise operations

434

If the business is prosecuted
And not given impunity
The U.S. reserves rights
And still claims immunity

435

A business of this sort
Won't sell domestically
U.S. employees must know
About it explicitly

436

Regulations are added when
Necessary, so no fear -
There's no more to say
I just need a rhyme here

437

Regulations set out
And business activities
Are given to congress'
Appropriate committees

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