Wednesday, November 29, 2006

U. S. Armed Forces Code, in Verse: Chapters 41, 43, 45

Chapter 41

711

If sent to the U.N.
Don't keep them waiting
Call in advance and
Tell them you're invading

711a

Officers are sent
To the Red Cross
Go there and kick butt,
Show them who's boss

712

The President lends,
To handle unrest,
Soldiers to foreign
Armies distressed

713

Now getting weirder -
Soldiers can be couriers
Or building inspectors
Or amateur worriers

716

The Prez can move members
Between any service
Takes you from here and
Puts there, or the inverse

717

Armed forces members
Can also play sports
The mil can spend moolah on
Activities of these sorts

719

Guys can be sent
To the NAOO
To look at the sky
Or to look down below

720

The President appoints
Any mil officer
To be chief of staff,
Whether a him or her

721

The number of members
Or officers lent
Is no more than twenty
Six point five percent

Chapter 43

741

Members of services
Are differently rank
After sitting all day
In a ship or a tank

742

You know what I meant,
Don't get hysterical -
I'm talking command chains,
For WOs, it's numerical

743

All chiefs of staff
Are ranked by seniority
And over all others
Exert their authority

744

Assigned to the white house
A physician's a colonel
Or maybe a captain
Go check in your journal

747

For mixed service officers
The highest one there
Is the one whose suit matches
The host's silverware

749

The President decides
Which guy's in command
In places with members
Of air, sea, and land

750

You can't give commands
If you're fully retired
Except to the servants
Or gardeners you've hired

Chapter 45

771

Only mil members
Can wear uniforms
So next Halloween
Stick to unicorns

771a

Ex-soldiers' uniforms
Are left at the base
They wear home a suit they
Brought for this case

772

Exceptions are made
On specified occasion
Actors wear uniforms
But not if they make fun

773

Teachers can use them
In order to instruct
But have to ensure they
Are worn with conduct

774

Religious articles
If not too obtrusive
May be worn with a uniform
When need is conclusive

775

Prisoners repatriated
And patients now healed
Are given a uniform
As part of the deal

776

Uniform laws apply
Just in America
And not in strange places
Like outer Mongolia

777

When set for promotion
You might become frocked
Which is better than being
Half-cocked, mocked, or shocked

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